Surrender
by harlequincabaret
Summary: Lily is warming up to James, forcing her best friend Jackie to befriend the Marauders. She takes to Remus immediately, but Sirius proves to be difficult. Will they be able to reconcile, or will their own emotions get the better of them?
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter whatsoever, sadly. Also, the title was taken from a Billy Talent song (plus it is wonderfully cheesy)…though it doesn't necessarily need to be, I suppose. The song just fits the story perfectly. Check it out. They're a wonderful band.**

_**A/N: Ahaha. And so it begins. Let me explain. This is a joke/parody fic mainly focusing on Sirius Black and an OC. Want a bit of background?**_

_**My friends and I are utterly Potter-obsessed. We've each seen DH:Pt 1 three times now, twice with each other. One of my friends is one of the biggest Sirius Black fanatics I've ever met. Well, after I saw the movie a couple times, I was inspired to form a few story ideas. They included Neville, Scabior, and even a Voldemort fic. I was getting really excited to write those. I still **__**am**__**. However, at lunch one day my friend and I were musing about Sirius fics, and I was overcome with desire to write one. Mostly for her. I was trying to create a list of plot points, and I came up with the idea to write the cheesiest, most cliché story I could. So we started brainstorming. We've both read our fair share of Harry Potter fics (I've also written them), so we were able to pinpoint many reoccurring themes that are just SO worn out. The list became rather lengthy, but each new bulleted idea became crazier and crazier. The list looked a little something like this (shortened, obviously):**_

_**-ROR, naturally**_

_**-Animagus**_

_**-"real you"**_

_**-broom closet**_

_**-hook up**_

_**So there's a sneak peek into our ideas. It was so fun coming up with them! So just to clarify before you begin reading: THIS IS FOR FUN. I in no way think this is my best writing, my best plot, or my best characters. Plus it is a fanfic, which is utterly nerdy….but I just like writing them to get the creative juices flowing for my actual, serious writing… IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE CLICHÉ. I participated in NaNoWriMo this year. I need a break from hardcore writing. I felt this would be the best way to recover from that intensity of writing an entire NOVEL in one month.**_

_**Sorry for the long and drawn out A/N! I felt it was necessary to just give a bit of an introduction **____** Please enjoy, and review if you feel like it. It would be much appreciated!**_

It's difficult to choose which is the hardest: the beginning of the year at Hogwarts, or the end. It is always sad to say goodbye to a school that's held your secrets for nearly a year, and it is even worse to have to hug your friends goodbye. The months that elapse between the tearful partings and the journey to Platform 9 ¾ are both agonizing and restful. They're needed, though. After months of progressing in our wizarding education, Hogwarts students deserve a break. I know I needed a vacation.

I took the bus to King's Cross Station. My parents didn't live in the UK with me, so it was up to me to figure out how to get around. Luckily the bus stop was not very far from the flat I stayed in, so it was very convenient.

I pulled my trunk behind me. It was rather heavy. I was not a light packer by any means; I always feared that I would leave something essential at home, and that once at Hogwarts I would realize it, and be absolutely devastated. It was an annoyance as I dragged the trunk into the station, but I wouldn't regret it one bit once I was at school.

I would be beginning my sixth year at Hogwarts once I passed through to Platform 9 ¾ -I was now a pro at maneuvering through the busy station. My anticipation only grew as I saw students I recognized, and even more so when a fellow Gryffindor would wave at me. I was proud to be a Gryffindor. Though my parents were both of magical blood, they lived in the United States. They hadn't gone to Hogwarts. In a way, it was very comforting. I didn't have to live up to their standards. I was an independent being at Hogwarts. It didn't matter if I wasn't in the same House as my family, because they'd never been sorted at all.

As I approached the platform, I spotted my best friend. Lily was fussing with her trunk. She was making sure her belongings were secured tightly before attempting the run at the brick wall. I didn't blame her, but it still brought a smile to my face. I'd missed Lily Evans over the summer. Our occasional letters were never the same as speaking in person.

"Oh Lily!" I called out, and she abruptly snapped upwards. She swung her head around, causing her vibrant red hair to fly about. I'd always been a slight bit jealous of her hair—I had dirty blonde hair that fell well past my shoulders. It was pretty, but not as striking as her flaming locks. When she saw me, her green eyes lit up, and a smile stretched across her face.

"Jackie!" She abandoned her trolley and walked briskly towards me. "I missed you this summer!"

"Missed you too, Lil!" I hugged her, and smiled. "I hope we can find a nice compartment."

"Oh, well…" Lily bit her lip and suppressed a smirk. "Um…actually, Jacks, Potter asked if we'd like to sit with him…"

"You mean, with them?" I asked pointedly. "All of them? Potter is bearable…and so is Remus. He's decent. But Black? Man-whore of the school?"

"Oh, come on." Lily berated teasingly. "Sure, he's flirtatious, but I'm sure he means no harm by it. Potter on the other hand…well. He's a bit…"

"Desperate." I answered with a chuckle. "He'd do anything to have you, Lil. I'm surprised you agreed to sit with them. Are you finally softening up for him? I know how upset you get when they pull pranks on that Snape boy."

"I still don't forgive him for that." Lily said darkly. "However, he asked politely, and I would have felt like it was in bad manners to turn him down." Lily looked away, and I could have sworn there was a light blush on her cheeks.

"I guess it's settled then." I sighed. "We're sitting with them, then?"

"Yes, if you agree to be civil."

"Is it really that deplorable of me to think it's disgusting of Black to have any girl that throws themself at him?" I questioned. Lily had begun to walk back to her trolley, and I followed.

"Well, _no. _Just try and keep your opinion to yourself. I want to start this term off right."

I shook my head and gripped the handle on my own cart. Lily ran at the wall first, and I trailed her shortly after. In the blink of an eye, the large scarlet train was before me. The smoke was billowing in the air, and an unstoppable grin took over my face. The sight of the large train never ceased to amaze me. It was a symbol of freedom for me. I loved Hogwarts, and each train ride was the beginning of a new journey.

Lily and I dropped of our trunks, taking with us only our robes to change into. On the way onto the train we saw a few housemates, and we stopped to have a brief chat. I tried to expel the thought from my mind that next year would be the last time I'd ever set foot on this platform, unless I had kids in the future. It was difficult not to dwell on it, though.

"Let's go, Jackie." Lily tugged on my arm and directed me towards the stairs. I really was overreacting. I pouted a bit, but allowed her to steer me to the compartment. It was the same compartment the quartet always sat in, so it wasn't hard to find. When Lily slid the frosted glass door open, James Potter leapt onto his feet, as though the actions were somehow connected—cause and effect.

"Lily!" He nearly shouted. "I'm glad you came!"

Sirius snorted, and Remus smiled gently. "He was freaking out. 'She's not coming, guys!'" Sirius imitated. His gray eyes were dancing with amusement.

James glared at his best friend.

"Have a seat," Remus Lupin gestured to the empty spaces on the bench. James nodded at him, and sat back down in his spot.

Lily took a seat once she was invited to, but I hesitated. I still was not comfortable with the predicament Lily had put me in. Though I dared not look at him, I knew Sirius was watching me as I deliberated whether to sit or not. I lay my hands underneath my skirt and sat down. Then I folded my hands in my lap and allowed myself to steal a fleeting glance at Black. He had one of his eyebrows arched in my direction, an expression of amused curiosity on his face.

In the corner of the compartment, Peter Pettigrew was curled up sleep. I was secretly glad of this. I had always thought he was an awkward kid, and I found it difficult to communicate with him. At least Sirius Black was easy to hold a conversation with.

"So," I trailed… "Are you three excited about this year?"

James and Sirius looked at each other conspiratorially, and Remus shook his head ruefully.

"Very much so." James grinned impishly.

"Let's just say we've got a lot of good ideas up our sleeves…"

Lily shook her head in disdain, but didn't vocalize her protest. Both she and Remus were prefects; it was doubtless that she would have to answer to some of their planned pranks.

"And how did you do on your OWLs?" It was a feeble attempt at conversation, but I was trying to be polite, like I'd promised Lily.

"Very good." Remus answered. "I got a couple Os, and the rest were Es."

"Same." Lily and I chorused simultaneously. We giggled. We had earned our grades; we'd studied very hard, and spent many late nights pouring over books trying to absorb as much information as possible.

"What about you two?" I directed at Potter and Black. Their laughter was probably heard by the entire train. "What?" I demanded.

"Our grades weren't up to _your _standards. What do you expect? We didn't pull all-nighters in the common room with our noses pressed into the books! Although, Sirius did manage to scrape a couple decent marks. He's gifted at Defense."

"But you're a clever student, James." Lily offered, and James looked thrilled. It was either because she had complimented him without including a slight, or because she had said 'James' instead of 'Potter.' It was obvious that Lily had taken a new approach to dealing with James Potter—tolerate him with civility, as she expected me to do with Sirius.

The rest of the ride went by with few awkward moments. It was a pleasant departure from what I was expecting. Remus and I had much in common where academics and literature were concerned, so I spent most of the trip speaking with him. There was something very genuine about Remus that I always had found endearing. The summer had seemed to age him a few years, but it made him more human. In a world where magic was dominate and often skewed perceptions, normalcy was hard to come by.

_**A/N: I hate introductory chapters XD Review please?**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this second chapter **____** I know they aren't really long or anything…to be honest, I didn't feel very good tonight and I didn't have much energy. I wanted to update anyways, though. **_

_**I have a couple thank yous to say before we get onto the actual chapter. It goes out to all who have favorited/alterted/reviewed this story so far. Thank you to: DesperateObsession, Jackie015, Veronica (aka BellatrixCrucioYou), Debbie, Rachael, Manda, Artemis Teilor, Nes4597, and BelleJay!**_

_**Please review!**_

I believe the reason Sirius and I never clicked much was because we were both too sure of ourselves. We were both stubborn and headstrong; when you put two like personalities together, you're bound to butt heads.

It's not like I really hated _him_. I hated his guts. I hated the way he looked at girls (_all _ages) as if they were his already. It only infuriated me more when they obliged him—it was just another victory for him. Ok…maybe I _highly disliked _him.

Alas, something in Lily had changed over the summer. She was taking a very mature approach to her sixth year at school. She was going to be respectful of Potter and the gang—and she pleaded with me to follow suit.

It was obvious. She had finally fallen for Potter, though probably not to the extent that _he_ loved _her_. I should have seen it coming; it was inevitable, like seeing a dark, gray cloud in the sky. You hope that rain won't come, but you **know **it will. He was arrogant and spoiled. He acted as if he ran the school. What Lily saw in him, I did not know. James was like Sirius' carbon copy, except less attractive and less sought after.

When we had arrived at the school, the six of us took the carriage up to the castle. I always loved observing the castle in the dark. It had a warm glow about it. Despite the coldness of the Gothic architecture, it seemed to welcome us.

Peter was now awake, and though he didn't say much, he listened to his friends in reverence. He admired them greatly, and followed them around like he was a little puppy. How he had been allowed to be in their group, I didn't know. Even Remus' inclusion in the group was questionable. I suppose friendships just happen organically sometimes.

Lily and I had turned away from the boys' conversation and began to catch up. Both of our summers hadn't been anything extraordinary, yet we were able to talk for minutes on end about the most mundane activities. It was so easy to talk to Lily; I don't know what I would do with her once we graduated.

"And mom and dad took us to the beach. I think I enjoyed it more than Tuney did…Still, it was great!"

"I mostly stayed in the flat."

"You didn't go back to America to visit your parents this summer?" Lily looked surprised, but part of me knew she was just humoring me.

"Nope. Not this year. I don't plan to anytime soon, either."

"So what did you do then?"

"You know…took walks, shopped a bit. I mostly sat in front of the television and watched soap operas, though. I know I used to bash you for liking them, Lil, but they are surprisingly addictive. Like blood pops. They sound disgusting…" I smirked. "As boring as it sounds, it was very relaxing. I had a good summer."

"I wish we could have hung out…it would have been a lot more fun."

I nodded in agreement. Having Lily around would have saved me from boredom. Maybe we could arrange something for next summer—but that was so far away.

Every year I watched a new batch of first years get sorted. I loved it. I remember how I wasn't even nervous, because I had no clue what each House stood for. All I knew was that Gryffindor was gold and scarlet, a color combination that would look great on me. Now, of course, I was proud to be Gryffindor. Bravery and courage. It was an honorable House to be in…not like Huff—

"Hufflepuff!" The Sorting Hat proclaimed, and one of the long tables erupted into applause. My eyes widened, and I could feel a blush creeping onto my cheeks. It was as if the hat had read my mind.

Hufflepuff _actually _wasn't all bad, but it was still the joke among the other Houses. Who would prefer to be known for loyalty over brains, bravery, or cunning? Still, I had a friend named Petra in Hufflepuff, and she was brilliant. A ray of sunshine when you needed one, and she was always eager to help. If there was one thing that was admirable about Hufflepuffs, it was their unfailing generosity with their time.

Though I enjoyed watching the sorting, I was famished. I hadn't bought anything from the trolley on the Hogwarts Express, and I'd only had a piece of dry toast for breakfast. All throughout the ceremony my stomach gurgled. Luckily, there was enough noise to drown it out.

After what felt like a hundred more names (though that was impossible!), Dumbledore gave a quick speech. Then, on his command, the long wooden tables filled with an abundance of food. My mouth began to water instantly. It all looked so delicious. I was overwhelmed by all my choices. I'd almost forgotten just how expansive the start of term feast was. Over the summer my meals had consisted of canned ravioli and TV dinners. This was too good to be true.

I glanced to my left. Remus seemed to be the only one of the quartet well-versed in table manners. Normally, it might have set me off of dinner. Not tonight. I simply looked away and began to fill up my plate. Lily watched me out of the corner of her eye as she sipped spoonful of soup.

"Hungry?"

"Starved." I answered, my eyes still searching the silver dishes in front of me.

"Save some room for the pudding, Jackie." She laughed.

"You're right," I stopped mid-grab. I had been reaching for a roll. "Hogwarts pudding is so good. I should save room."

Lily shook her head with a smirk. "I'm sure Ramen noodles got a little old after a while?"

"Canned ravioli, actually." I said between mouthfuls of chicken. "Not exactly a square meal."

"Not at all."

Lily had been right to warn me to save room. I successfully swallowed two teaspoons full of pudding, and then shoved the dish away from me. I felt sick to my stomach, but it was the first time in weeks I felt truly full and satisfied.

Dumbledore addressed the student body once again, but I didn't catch more than a word here and there. I was too stunned that Sirius had managed to scarf down two helpings of the rich pudding on top of the mountainous main course he'd eaten his way through.

Lily tugged me up off of the bench, succeeding in pulling me out of my food-induced trance. I had not realized that students had started to filter out of the Great Hall, but apparently it had been going on for a few moments. Nearly the entire Ravenclaw had vacated the room, and everyone else was scrambling for their respective dormitories. I needed to sleep badly, and the thought of having to push past other kids, maneuver bipolar staircases, and dig through my trunk to find my pajamas was not comforting. We'd get our schedules the next morning, and then the school year would officially begin.

With a sigh, I held onto Lily's arm so I didn't lose her. She seemed to have enough energy for the both of us, so I just forced my legs to do the job of getting me to the common room—my eyelids were threatening to close and rob me of my vision.

"Almost there, Jacks." Lily craned her head to look back at me with a smile. "Then you can collapse on your bed and sleep. Sounds good, doesn't it?"

"Mmmmm." I hummed.

Lily was a God-send. We bypassed the rowdy Gryffindors in the common room (they were celebrating the first night with a party) and walked up to the girls' dormitories. She rifled through my trunk and got my red and gold pajamas—shorts and a short sleeved shirt. Everything was about House pride, even nightwear.

"Mmm…thanks Lils."

She nodded and went off to change into hers in the bathroom and prep for bed. As there was no one else in the common room, I really didn't mind changing in the open. As soon as they were on, I fell onto the four-poster bed. Fatigue won, and I fell into deep sleep without even getting under the covers.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry for the delay! The holidays have me so distracted! I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas, if that is what you celebrate. **

**To tell the truth, I'm not too fond of this chapter. It's short and kind of filler! I'd probably be able to write better if it wasn't so late, and it wasn't still Christmas. Ah well. I'll probably have another update again before next week is over—maybe two. I still have to finish my other story as well, though!**

**Enough excuses! On to the story, yeah? As always, reviews are appreciated. Thank you so much to those of you who have reviewed, put my on alert, or favorited this story!**

The next day, I woke to find all of the Gryffindor girls shuffling about. Some had already gone to breakfast, returning with their schedules. Others were organizing their area, decorating the walls around them with pictures and posters that expressed who they were.

Lily was calmly brushing her hair. On her bed I saw a slip of paper—evidence that she had already been down to the Great Hall and back again. I sat up and stretched my arms out far in front of me. I tried to shake the fatigue away, but it still clouded my awareness.

I tossed the covers off of me, and quickly changed into my Gryffindor robes. Lily didn't seem to notice I had gotten up and she moved from brushing her hair to decorating her area.

When I had finally gotten completely ready, I found Petra and Marina outside of the Great Hall.

Petra was tall and lean. Her hair was jet black with an almost navy blue shine when it caught the light. Her eyes were a vibrant shade of brown, almost the color of darkened honey. Marina was shorter with an average build. She had short brown hair that fell just to her shoulders. Her straight-across the forehead bangs made her look younger, but it suited her. She too had brown eyes, but hers were more of a chocolate brown color. Petra was a Hufflepuff and Marina a Ravenclaw. They were my two friends from other Houses.

"Jackie!" Petra exclaimed. "I've missed you. How've you been?"

"Good, good. And you two?"

"Great," Marina answered brightly. "I believe we have Charms together today."

"Ravenclaws and Gryffindors?"

"Yep."

"Well, cool! I still have to find my timetable…"

"You'd better hurry, especially if you want to eat. I expect they'll be taking the food away soon." Petra said.

"You would think after how much I ate last night, I wouldn't be hungry. But I am."

"We're going to go fetch our books."

"I'll see you in Charms, Jackie!" Marina said, and then headed towards Ravenclaw tower.

There were few plates of food left, but I managed to make a decent plate of food. From across the hall I saw Petra's boyfriend, Levi. He waved at me with a smile. It was an awkward expression, because he had a mouthful of eggs daring to push their way out.

Professor McGonagall advanced towards me just as I was about to take a sip of freshly made orange juice. I set it down reluctantly and swung around on the bench to greet her.

"Morning professor."

"Morning Miss Whitaker. Here is your schedule. I expect to see you promptly in my classroom tomorrow."

"I'll be there, professor. I always am."

McGonagall nodded and smiled mildly. She never was one to express too much emotion, and it appeared forced.

I quickly ate the contents of my plate, not even taking enough care to notice how artfully spiced the eggs were. I had Charms in just under an hour, and I still needed to prepare my bag. I hadn't even had the time to unpack anything, let alone unpack and sort my books and supplies.

Running up to Gryffindor tower was an unpleasant experience, as my stomach felt like it would burst. I saw a couple of my House-mates on their way to class, and it only made me feel the need to run faster. I had taken longer than I should have in the Great Hall. It would have been a miracle if Lily was waiting for me, but that was something I highly doubted.

"Erumpent." I breathed, and the Fat Lady swung open to allow me entrance. I darted through. Everyone in the Common Room was a blur, and I ascended the stairs to the girls' dormitories with surprising haste. As I was about to wrench the door open, it was pushed outwards, nearly sending me tumbling backwards down the hard and cold stair.

"Damn!" I cursed, and looked up accusingly. There was Lily, an apologetic smile on her face.

"Sorry, Jackie. I thought perhaps you had vanished along with the dishes or something. Was your breakfast satisfactory? I would have thought after last night, you'd never be hungry again."

"It was good." I huffed. I was still out of breath. "I need to get my books…and my bag. Ugh! Go! Go! I'll meet you there."

"You'll be late," Lily stated, and I rolled my eyes at her.

"I know! Which is why I need to get in there—" I pointed passed her, and she smirked.

"I know; I'm just playing with you. I better hurry along. You know I love you, Jacks, but I am not willing to risk my perfect attendance record."

"Save me a seat if you can." I yelled over my shoulder. Lily had already started walking away. She waved me off, and I took that as a loose promise.

With much anxiety, I filled my messenger bag full of books. I wasn't exactly paying attention to what I was putting in; I was fearful of forgetting something, so I was stuffing in everything that would fit. I hated to think that I would be late. I had _never _been late to class! It was my fault, however, and I would own up to that if the need came.

Down the stairs. Through the Common Room. After that, it was all _running. _Running through the halls; running around the corners; running to catch a moving staircase. By some stroke of luck, I made it to the Charms classroom just in time for class. However, I was the last one to pass through the doors, and the entire group of students turned to stare at me. I searched the room for Lily, and my heart sank. She was sitting next to someone already. I squinted. James! Despite the situation, I felt like laughing. I didn't know how that had happened, but I couldn't wait to hear the story. One half of the quartet was sitting next to each other: Remus and Peter.

It dawned on me then, as my eyes scanned the room for a vacancy. There was one spot left—and it was next to Sirius Black.


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Hello hello! I know these chapters are short, but I kind of like them better this way **____** I hope you all enjoy this, and as always, reviews are greatly appreciated. Keep in mind this is supposed to be cliché ;) Thanks to everyone who has supported this story in any way: favoriting, reviewing, putting me or the story on alert…it means a lot!**_

I held my head high and sat in the chair next to him. I had a feeling that it would be a very long class period.

"So how'd you get severed from your previously-conjoined twin?" I posed and waited for an answer with raised eyebrows.

"I could ask you the same. Don't you and Evan eat, sleep, and breathe together?" He was smirking that all-too-familiar smirk. It irked me.

"Something like that, yes. Are you ever going to answer me?"

"I got here just before you. I guess Moony—er…Remus…I guess he wanted to sit next to Peter because James would be too much of a distraction from his studies. James forgot about me the instant he saw Ginger over there." He jerked his thumb in Lily's direction. She was looking quite sour; sure, she had allowed James to interact with her more often, but being his Charms partner for the entire year was not something she had been banking on.

"Why were you late?"

"Oh…Veronica stopped me." His lips twitched upwards. I could tell he was hoping I didn't see the infinitesimal expression, but he would not get that wish. I saw.

"Veronica? The fifth year girl?"

"Why the surprise?"

I looked to the front of the classroom, helplessly willing Professor Flitwick to begin the lesson.

"Well she always seemed so sweet. I helped her out her first year." I shrugged.

"She _is _sweet. She asked me to hang out with her this weekend by the Black Lake."

"I just never expected her to fall for a guy like you."

"Like _me?_" His face contorted into a false expression of hurt. "You say that with such malice. What exactly are guys like me like?"

"Oh, you know….scoundrels."

"Scoundrels?" He chuckled, a deep and throaty sound.

"Yes." I nodded firmly. "You toy with girls. You have your fun. Then you toss them aside. I don't want Veronica getting thrown away like Candace last year. And if they aren't victims of your game, then they're the school slags you like to shag."

"Well, she won't."

"Oh? Why do I feel immense doubt?"

"Look, I know you despise me, but I'm not _all _bad. Maybe this time spent sitting next to each other will ease your prejudices."

"And Veronica? What of her?"

"I let her down easy. I told her I wasn't looking for anything at the moment."

That was it. I burst out laughing. It was an involuntary action, and I could not stop. The entire class turned to look at us—most people glanced at Sirius, hoping to know what he said that was so comical.

"If you would please quiet down Miss Whitaker, we could begin today's lesson." Professor Flitwick took his position on his stool. The boisterous laughing was dying down to giggles. I looked at him sidelong, a grin plastered on my face.

"Yeah, that'll last long!"

The first lesson was nothing to enthuse over. Occasionally Lily and I would be so interested by the lesson topic that we would go back to the Common Room to discuss it. That was not the case after Flitwick's introductory class. He just filled us in on NEWT topics we'd need to cover, and gave us a basic overview of this year's course syllabus.

Lily and I were taking almost all of the same classes, so our schedules were nearly identical. We both had Potions with the Slytherins in an hour. For roughly twenty minutes the two of us vegged on one of the plush red couches in the Common Room. We were debating our chances of getting into the Slug Club—something we both secretly desired. It was extremely nerdy, but then again, that's what we were.

"Hello Jackie!" A bright voice chirped. I looked away from Lilyand over to the source.

"Veronica….nice to see you. How was your vacation?"

"Wonderful. We went out of the country."

"Listen, Veronica. I heard you asked Sirius Black out…"

"I did. Well, sort of. I asked him to hang out with me and a few friends this weekend. He said no. I guess I couldn't have expected much else…"

"You're too innocent for guys like him."

"But he's so attractive!"

Veronica's friend (I think her name was Loraine) added: "And funny!"

I shook my head with a smile. "Ah…naivety. He _is _attractive. Probably the most attractive guy in this entire school," I noticed that Lily was not engrossed in her book anymore. Now she was watching me with wide, surprised eyes-as if this was the last thing she expected me to vocalize, "but that doesn't mean he's not a dog."

"I'm only one year younger than you, Jackie. I'm not a baby." She smiled gently at me. "I'll be careful. Anyways, he rejected me."

"Jackie, we better get going," Lily announced, and stood.

"Right, right." I looked Veronica square in the eyes. "Just use some sense when you pick guys to lust after."

She nodded in a noncommittal manner, and walked off to the dormitories with Loraine.

"Most gorgeous guy in school?" Lily asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"I said most _attractive_."

"And you're the lucky girl that gets to sit next to him in Charms. Do you have any idea how many girls would kill for that opportunity?"

"You, Lil?"

"Well…**no." **Her fair cheeks reddened slightly. "I was just speaking for the other 99.9999 repeating percent of the school."

"C'mon." I gestured towards the portrait hole. "We better get going if we want prime seats in Potions. I don't want to be stuck next to Black again."

"You sure? It'd be amusing. You two could brew up some Amortentia…"

"Lily!" I hit her playfully on the arm. "You're blowing this out of proportion!"

"I know, Jacks, but your reactions are doing nothing but encouraging me!"

I quickly changed the subject. As we journeyed to the dungeons, we debated our chances of getting invited into Professor Slughorn's famed club for the elite. We both wanted in desperately, and we knew that from the start of the very first lesson, we would need to work hard to perform expertly in order to prove ourselves worthy.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I actually like this chapter a lot **

Our first class with Professor Slughorn was actually quite fun. We were given an assignment to brew Girding Potion. Slughorn said it was 'a Quidditch players dream!', because it improved endurance. I imagined that if a match turned out to last ages, it probably would help.

Immediately Lily and I collected our ingredients: dragonfly thoraxes, fairy wings, flying seahorses, and doxy eggs. A couple of the ingredients needed to be collected from Slughorn's pantry, but for the most part, we were ready to begin in little time.

We rationed off the components of the brew and put them into neat little piles. Then we glanced at each other, smirked almost identically, and dove into the process.

Lily and I often did this: we tried to see who could finish fastest, and with the most accuracy. We knew that at the end of our little game, the potion should be a golden color.

I cut up my ingredients just as the book instructed me. All the pieces were perfectly sized, and I tossed them into the cauldron expectantly. The effect I desired happened before my eyes, and I gave a satisfied smiled down at the concoction. I still had to stir, however.

"Oh-ho! Severus Snape you say your name is? Yes that looks just about perfect."

Lily glanced up, away from her work. I couldn't tell what emotion filled her eyes, but she was watching Slughorn gush next to Severus. I knew she was still not over the fact that he had called her a Mudblood.

Slughorn was scanning the entire room, looking for those who felt they were done. I was two clockwise stirs from completing the Girding Potion.

"DONE!" I yelled, and turned towards Lily with a shocked open-mouthed gape. She had shouted the same expression at the same time. "No way!"

Remus was smirked at us from across the classroom; Peter was to his left.

"Again! We almost always finish at exactly the same time…" Lily shook her head. Slughorn was lumbering towards us, curiosity written all over his features.

"Finished ladies?" He peered into each of their cauldrons, and nodded in approval. "Merlin's beard! Both of your potions are the perfect shade of gold!" He stuck a ladle into each of their brews, and both times he gave a satisfied 'oh-ho!', just like he had with Snape's. He smiled broadly, and leaned down to whisper, "I'd like to see you two after class, if you don't mind." He winked and stood back up, a labored effort. He went back to inspecting everyone else's cauldrons.

"I think I know what comes ne-ext," Jackie sang. She peered at Lily wistfully. "I think we've been accepted."

"I know," Lily was fighting the urge to grin.

"Oh let it loose, Lil!" Her lips stretched wide and mine mirrored hers.

After class, Lily and I approached Slughorn. We thought he was waiting to speak with us because Severus was still in the room, but it turned out he was waiting for Severus to be done packing up his things. When all three of us were poised in front of his desk, he turned to face us.

"You three performed brilliantly today. I must say, I have not seen such aptitude for Potion making in school since I was a lad! You three have proven to be head and shoulders above the rest—and you, Severus! You have such innovation. I'd like to extend an invitation to each of you to be a part of my little club of special students—The Slug Club." His eyes were alight with hope; I was tempted to laugh, but thankfully, I remained composed.

I saw Lily's eyes flit over towards Severus. I tilted my head in her direction, staring at her in disbelief. I could not believe she was actually considering rejecting the offer!

"**I'd **be delighted, professor." I announced, and shook his outstretched, pudgy hand.

"Good, good! And you two?"

"Yes, sir." Snape answered with a nod. "It'd be an honor."

Slughorn smiled expectantly at Lily, and she nodded.

"I'd like that very much, professor."

"Three for three!" He clapped his hands together enthusiastically. "Well, I have scheduled the first meeting for this Wednesday night at six. It will be a nice little get together, and I'll be providing dinner."

"That sounds awesome!" I beamed.

"You three better get going; I don't know if you have a class coming up, but I do!" He made 'shoo-ing' gestures with his hands, and the three of us backed up. An awkward moment passed, but then Severus bustled off, holding onto the strap of his bag tightly.

"I cannot believe you were going to turn this opportunity down because of _him!_" I whispered fiercely, and she softly 'shushed' me.

"Wait until we're out of the class room before stating your disappointment in me, Jacqueline." Lily was holding her books to her chest, as if trying to deflect my comments.

I rushed forward and pushed open the great big door that was in the shape of an ogive arch. I heard someone gasp and jump backwards. I looked out the entrance and my breath caught in my throat. I had to do a double-take—but no, it was not who I thought. In fact, once examined closely, there were many differences between this particular Black and the one who catered to slags and tarts.

"Sorry about that," I apologized.

"Oh, it's not a problem. You probably weren't expecting someone to be there anyways—class doesn't start for nearly ten minutes."

"Right," I mumbled. "Well, I'm Jackie."

"Regulus." He smiled gently and looked beyond my shoulder.

"Oh—sorry!" I stepped out of his way, and he nodded in his thanks. Lily was watching me curiously. I felt as though she was trying to read my mind.

**A/N: Review?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I know these are short, but I prefer them this way. If I keep them around 900-1000 words, I can churn out more without feeling burned out **** Please review!**

"Hello, Remus!" Jackie greeted and sat across from him in one of the Common Room's arm chairs. "Having a good day?"

"Quite." He held up the book in his hands so I could see it. "I've been reading this book all morning. I don't have class for another hour, and all my homework is done."

"That looks fascinating." I reached for the elegantly bound book, and flipped through a couple pages to get a grasp on its topic. "I might just have to borrow this from you sometime."

"Sure," he smiled. "Anytime you want, so long as I've finished it."

"Where are the other three of your little group?" I asked, folding my hands on my lap.

"Oh, down at the kitchens. They all slept in much later than I. They missed breakfast, and James and Sirius skipped one of their lessons." I could hear the tone of disapproval in his voice, but it was overpowered by his amusement.

"They know where the kitchens are?" I mused aloud.

"Mmm." He nodded and took the book back from me. "I noticed you stayed after with Slughorn yesterday. What was that all about, if you don't mind saying?"

"Oh…well…he invited me and Lily to be in the Slug Club."

"Nice! Congratulations." He seemed genuinely happy for us; that was what I always admired about Remus—his honesty.

"Thank you. Severus Snape was also invited, and naturally, he accepted."

"Really? Well, he is quite gifted at Potions."

"I'm sure Slughorn doesn't only choose on that basis; Snape is a very gifted student in all subjects."

"True. You're lucky James and Sirius aren't around to hear you talking like that." Remus chuckled. "You and Sirius already contest each other—this talk would only further divide you!"

"Oh, trust me, Remus—I have my fair share of unpleasant thoughts for Severus. He really wounded Lily. I haven't forgiven him for that, though I know everybody makes their mistakes. He's got a brilliant mind, though."

From the portrait hall came ruckus conversation, intermingled with even more obnoxious laughter.

"I feel like I can never see the same way again!" James yelled and pretended to be blind.

"I know! Who would have thought…I mean, the girl wasn't half bad looking, and I know she's smart since she's a Ravenclaw. But apparently she isn't _that _smart!"

"What're you talking about?" I asked, turning to face the trio that just entered the Common Room.

"We saw Snivellus holding hands with a _girl_." James said in disgust.

"So? That's hardly anything to freak out over." I dismissed, and turned back around.

"But who would go out with him?"

"Who was it?" Remus asked, only mildly interested and still skimming his book.

"She was a Ravenclaw girl; I think she's in our year. She's the one who always hangs out with that Petra girl…I can't remember her name."

"Marina." Lily answered, entering the room for the first time all day. She had become sick with a cold the night before, and had needed her rest. "Short with shoulder-length brown hair?" Sirius, James, and Peter nodded simultaneously. "That's her. Marina. She's dating Severus?" Whatever Lily was feeling, she was doing a good job of concealing it. She was also good friends with Marina.

"That's what it looked like." Sirius affirmed. "They were holding hands. She looked positively enthralled."

"And what about him? Did he seem interested in her in return?" I asked, because that was what mattered to me.

"I don't know. I tried to look away as soon as possible." James winced.

"Oh grow up." I rolled my eyes. "What time is it, Lil?"

She glanced down at her watch, "It's nearing eleven."

"We better go. I suspect McGonagall would not be happy if we were late."

"That's us as well," Remus put his book into the bag next to his chair. "Are you three coming along, or are you planning on skipping this class period as well?"

"No, no. We're going." James answered, waving Remus off. James, Sirius, and Peter all dashed to their dormitories to retrieve their books.

"We should just leave without them," Remus suggested.

"Really?" I asked. "You sure?"

He shrugged and put his bag over his shoulder. "They'll find the classroom just fine."

"Who do we have class with today?" I questioned, and Lily was the first to give me a response.

"Ravenclaw."

I knew exactly what that meant to her—seeing Marina.

"I can ask her—or Petra."

"Would Petra know? It seems like it was a new development." Remus noted.

"Petra would know," I nodded, sure of myself. "They tell each other everything. I wouldn't be surprised if it _wasn't _a new development, though. Doesn't Marina live quite close to you and Snape?"

"Yes, she doesn't live very far from Spinner's End. They could have gotten together over the summer. I haven't paid him too much attention since last year."

"That was disgusting what he said to you," Remus said. "James was just about ready to murder him then and there."

"Yeah. I realized that was when we needed to sever ties. He was already walking down the dark road to the Death Eaters…it was time."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: YAY! Another update. Thanks to everyone for reviewing and showing your support. I really appreciate it! This is a slightly longer chapter for y'all. Please review!**

Yes, it had been true: Marina and Severus Snape were an item. It had taken me aback, but I realized it wasn't all that strange. They were both exceptionally brainy, and both were rather solitary, save for a few friends. They lived near each other, and Petra had told me that they'd spent some time together over the summer. Beyond that, I knew nothing.

Wednesday night. It came faster than I anticipated, and at five in the evening, Lily and I were poised in front of a mirror. We each took turns appraising the other, occasionally nodding in approval of a pair of shoes, or shaking our heads when the other's makeup wasn't quite on point. That lasted around forty-five minutes. Then, it was time to go to the dinner party.

Lily and I were both relieved that the quartet was in the Great Hall for dinner. Peter and Remus would not have been a problem—in fact, I quite liked Remus. He was easy to talk to, humble, and intelligent. He was the anti-Sirius Black. Peter was slightly more challenging; he was awkward and mousy. I found that we didn't have much in common. However, James and Sirius would have made us the laughing stocks of Gryffindor tower. There would have been jabs at the effort we had expended to look presentable or snide remarks about how we were the 'teacher's pets'. Of course, James would try and make up for it with his pitiful compliments for Lily.

"Halfway through the week, Lil." I announced happily. "I don't know about you, but I am so looking forward to our first weekend off…even if I have to spend it doing Charms and Transfiguration homework."

"Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about the foot of parchment we need to do for Flitwick…" Her eyebrows knitted together.

"Forget about it," I smiled. "I know you have a lot on your mind. I'll remind you come Friday, and we can work on it together. Now, this is _our _night! For two hours, just forget about school work and all the stress, James and Sirius—"

"I'm pretty sure that is what _you _should be forgetting about, Jackie." Lily smirked. "What I _do _need to let go of is Severus…and it would be a lot easier if he weren't there tonight."

"You're not mad at Marina, right?" I was fearful for her answer, because Marina was a close friend to both of us. I knew Marina meant to do no wrong, but I didn't want it to hurt Lily.

"Of course not. It's her choice. If she likes him, good for her. Rina deserves someone who makes her happy…I just hope she doesn't get swept up in all that Death Eater business. More importantly, I hope she _knows _about the Death Eaters."

"Marina's smart. She'll know what to do if that becomes an issue." I felt positive that if she felt threatened in any way, or in any way obligated to join in, Marina would leave. She wasn't one to do things to gain approval. That just wasn't her, and that's why Lily and I loved her so much.

We walked in comfortable silence for a while, letting the other think in peace. We saw a couple students walking together, traveling towards Slughorn's office. More members of the Slug Club.

Lily was the one to open the door. Inside we found many of our peers mingling with each other, sipping from flutes of what appeared to be mead. I was instantly grateful that we had taken the time to get properly dressed; the only person who did not seem to fit in with the other Hogwarts elite was Severus Snape. Lily had told me his family was rather poor, and his clothing reflected that status. He hadn't had anything nicer to wear than his best school robes. He was standing in a circle with the other accepted Slytherins. To his left, I saw Regulus. He was looking pretty good this evening. His long black hair was nicely combed and he looked very put together. He was not _as_ good looking as his Gryffindor brother, but he still had that blessed Black gene that made him instantly handsome.

"Jackie…?"

I hadn't realized that I'd been staring. "Hmm?"

"You're staring at that guy." She pointed discreetly.

"Oh…um…yeah." I said awkwardly, and ran a hand through the back of my hair. "Didn't realize…"

"Well, now might be the time to look over again. He's smiling at you," she teased.

I glanced back towards the group of Slytherins. She was right—he was smiling in my direction. That simple expression seemed to change him. He went from looking like a handsome, tortured poet to an amiable neighbor that you've secretly had a crush on for years. You know, the type that you watch take out the trash every morning, hiding behind bushes or peeping through windows. He just had that friendly vibe.

I smiled back, a little uncertain.

"Someone likes Jackie! Aw." Lily smirked.

"Shut up. He's just being friendly."

"Hello, hello!" Slughorn pronounced, standing at the head of the dinner table. "I'm so glad all of you have come. Why don't we all take our seats?"

Lily and I took the two seats closest to us. I was sitting next to a Ravenclaw boy—I think he was a seventh year. Lily was next to a Slytherin, who I recognized as Mulciber. She cringed when he sat next to her; she loathed him. He had a cruel sense of humor, and he was generally very perverse. He was one of Severus' friends, yet another reason she had turned away from her once-friend.

The dinner Slughorn provided was impressive. It was almost as grand as the Hogwarts feasts, but on a smaller scale. There was enough food for us all to fill our plates three or four times, and it seemed some of the attendees intended to.

"Save some room for dessert!" Slughorn chuckled happily, satisfied that his protégés were enjoying themselves. He launched into conversation with each of us, trying to pluck out little bits of information about each student. He looked utterly taken aback when Lily told him she was Muggle-born, and every Slytherin sniggered, with the exception of Severus. He merely smiled mildly.

When Slughorn inclined his head in my direction, I felt the eyes of everyone in the room rest on me. I felt like I was being interviewed, or like it was life or death. There was nothing interesting about me that I could say.

"What about you Miss Whitaker? What do your parents do?"

"Well, they live in America. My mother is in a wizard folk band, and my father organizes Quidditch games in the States. I live in England by myself."

"Really? That's impressive that they let you come here all alone."

"Oh, trust me—they didn't mind at all." I said a little too curtly. Lily noticed my bitterness, and patted my hand under the table.

"So they are both in the entertainment business then? Good show! What about you? What do you want to have for a career?"

"I'd like to go into Healing. I've been studying it on the side for a while. I personally feel it is a more respectable profession than being a musician or a sports event coordinator."

"Too true, though a bit of fun is always nice."

"Yes, sir."

That was it. He was on to the next person, interrogating them about their past and future. I could breathe again.

I was sufficiently stuffed at the end of the dinner. Slughorn had gleaned facts about all of us, and he seemed pleased with the students he had hand-selected to be in his club. He asked none of us to stay after, which I saw as good news. I had suspected that he would give a couple of us the axe after getting to know us a bit more than our Potion abilities would allow. Apparently we all passed his test.

Lily and I stood, waiting for our chance to thank our professor. When the Ravenclaw student was finished singing his praised, we stepped forward simultaneously.

"Thank you so much professor, I appreciated the invitation."

"I appreciated it as well, Professor Slughorn. Dinner was lovely." Lily smiled, fully aware that Severus was behind us, waiting his turn.

"It was my pleasure ladies! I enjoyed have you two here—you both showcase sharp wit and intelligence. I value that in students. I hope to see you at the next meeting!"

"Wouldn't miss it." I simpered, hoping he didn't catch the smugness in the expression.

I followed Lily to the door, but I wasn't really looking forward. I was taking in the extravagance of the room. It was elegantly decorated and filled with more books than I could comprehend. There were various knickknacks displayed on coffee tables and end tables, each more curious than the last.

"Thank you." I heard Lily say, and I focused my attention ahead of me. Someone had held the door open for her, and it happened to be none other than Regulus Black.

"Thank you," I beamed. I couldn't help it—he had this very different look to him. It was as if he had secrets hidden away, and yet when he smiled he looked so honest and friendly. He smiled down at me.

"You're welcome. I'm Regulus, by the way…we met the other day wh—"

"When I nearly gave you a concussion," I finished with a smirk. "Sorry about that…"

"It wasn't a problem. No one got hurt."

"You're the Slytherin Seeker, aren't you?" I asked, finally realizing why he had been a slight bit familiar. I had never seen him in such close proximity, of course, but there were basic features that I recognized.

"Yes, I play for the Slytherin Quidditch team." His eyes seemed to light up; he must truly love Quidditch.

"Don't tell James Potter, but you're pretty brilliant. He'd kill me if he heard me say that. You know, 'House pride, blah blah blah.'"

He laughed shyly. "Well, thank you."

"Mmmhm. I'll see you around, Regulus."

"Good night."

Lily was waiting for me down the hall; she must've gotten impatient and moved along.

"Did you have a nice chat?"

"Oh shush, you." I pushed her playfully. "It was pleasant conversation, that's all."

"I'm just joking, Jacks. I'm beat, how about you?"

"Exhausted," and as if it was on cue, I yawned widely.

"Let's get to bed. I have a feeling Charms will be grueling tomorrow."

"And not because of the lesson, right?"

"Right," Lily assented. "Because I have to listen to James Potter all class. He'll probably hammer me about the Slug Club. Either that or try and show off for me."

"And I have to listen to Sirius."

"I bet you wish it were another Black…"

The rest of the walk back to Gryffindor tower was spent groaning and moaning about how we wished we could sit next to each other in Charms, but it was unavoidable now. We'd be stuck in those seats all year long.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I know this is a super short chapter…but here's what my problem was: I got so excited to write Chapter 9. In fact, I quite like how it turned out. Well, I'd had the dialogue in that chapter rolling in my head for weeks. I NEEDED to write it. But once I'd written it all out, I then needed to backtrack and write Chapter 8. That was more difficult, since I already had the next chapter done. I was working backwards. In retrospect, I should have just kept doing it the way I had been before: in order. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20. **

** Anyways, a SECOND update will be put up later tonight. I'm having such a good time reading all of your reviews. Each one brings a smile to my face, so keep 'em coming!**

Lily and I made sure to get to Charms on time—or, really, ten minutes early. We had to wait outside for a few minutes, but Professor Flitwick let us in just before other students began filtering in. We chatted together for a while, trying to get the most out of the minutes before we had to part ways.

Marina came up to us; there was a bounce in her step this morning.

"Hey! How are you two?"

"Good, Rina. How about you?" I asked, and she smiled.

"I'm doing well, thanks. Have you guys seen the bulletin about Hogsmeade? The dates of the trips are up. There's one this week, and the following one is Halloween weekend!"

"That's great. Are you and Severus going together?" I asked, and then noticed that I was the one driving this conversation and Lily was barely giving any input.

"No, actually." She looked crestfallen. "He's going with his friends—Mulciber and Avery. They aren't too nice, really. I don't see why a guy like Severus hangs out with them…"

"It is odd, isn't it?" Lily asked. "It's sad. He's treating you well, Marina?"

"Of course. I know what people say about him, but he's a good guy. Although…"

"Although?" Lily pressed, but not in a rude or demanding way—it was more out of curiosity.

"Well…I care for him a lot. I saw him at the market over the summer, and we started hanging out. Neither of us had many friends around us from Hogwarts—except you, Lily, of course—so it was natural. I thought we had grown quite close. The relationship…it seemed a natural progression. But now I don't know if he cares for me as I care for him."

"Has he said anything to suggest otherwise?" I questioned.

"Please take your seats, everyone!" Flitwick squeaked from the front of the room.

Marina smiled sadly at the two of us, and went off to her seat.

I gave Lily a measured look—one I hope she took to mean 'we'll have to talk about this later.'

I sat down next to Sirius, who was already doodling on a piece of parchment. It looked like Quidditch strategies, which would make sense since he was the Gryffindor team's Beater.

"Good morning," I said pleasantly, and he glanced up from his parchment, his long hair obscuring his face.

"'Morning. How was Slughorn's shindig last night? Was it worth being permanently branded a teacher's pet?"

"It was not bad. The food was good. Some of the guests were questionable."

"Who was there?" He asked, but I could tell he was only mildly interested.

"Some Ravenclaw student…Reims? Edward Reims? Something like that. Mulciber, Avery, Severus, Janet Mills from Hufflepuff…and Regulus Black."

His head snapped up. "Really?"

"Really."

"That's a dangerous mix of Slytherins, that is."

"Your brother seemed nice enough." I noted, and I felt my cheeks grow hot.

"Nice? Pfft." He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "No. He's got the same values as my parents: limited and hateful."

"Let's begin today's lesson," Flitwick announced, and I turned away from Sirius. I took out a piece of parchment to take notes on, and Sirius continued his drawing.

I found it hard to focus on the lesson after what Sirius had said. Nothing Regulus had done suggested that he was a spiteful person. It would be a shame…


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello hello! I like this chapter quite a bit. I hope you do as well…I'll try and update soon after this.**

**Before we begin, I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who has reviewed this story—the fact that you take the time to leave me a message about the story means a lot, truly. I never really expected to get so many hits/reviews/favorites in such a short period of time—this story's hits had almost exceeded that of a story I started in May, To Youth. So thank you: Racheal, Veronica (the one and only from this story! Thanks for all your suggestions/support/input), Jackie015 (this story would not have happened without your enthusiasm :D I mean…you're THE Jackie. Thanks…you, me, Universal—WHAT THE **_**HELL**_** IS A HUFFLEPUFF?), DesperateObsession, Manda, Debbie, Rolokoko, MaraudersLiveOnAsAnimagus, SammPaglia, myemerald96, and Noel Ardnek (your reviews are my favorite! I love to see what the readers are thinking and what they think might happen next. I'm so glad you like the story, and review so often! Your comments always make my day!). And thanks to Rebecca for brainstorming today…I'll work you in somehow ;)**

**Happy new year, everyone! I hope it brings you new and exciting adventures, inspiration, good times with the ones you love, and of course, amazing fanfic. 2011 is the year of Harry Potter!**

The first month at Hogwarts had been a blur. The entire time was spent readjusting to the school lifestyle, cramming in homework, and meeting new friends.

I hung out with Lily and Remus most, but occasionally I was able to make time for Marina and Petra. We rarely saw each other, except for in Charms class or during free periods, but it was still nice to chat and catch up.

As a consequence of liking Remus' company so much, Lily and I spent most of our time with the rest of 'the Marauders.' James was still a show-off, but his pompousness was lessening in favor of his determination to win Lily. He had finally come to his senses: arrogance would not allow him to gain her affection. He'd have to do it without any bells and whistles or special Quidditch tricks.

Surprisingly, Sirius was starting to grow on me. After a month of sitting next to him class after class, he was right. I had gotten past my prejudices. That's not to say I didn't still find it disgusting of him to fly through relationships—that still sickened me. But I had come to the resolution that that was Sirius Black. I couldn't change that, no matter what I said to him. And coincidentally, it seemed like he had accepted that I was going to be the way I was. This mutual understanding allowed us to actually form, dare I say it, a friendship.

I had to admit, the Marauders antics had become amusing to me. Once you got to know them, you realized that most of them (save the ones they had done to Severus Snape) were just innocent fun. They had this peculiar piece of parchment that was really a map—it had been a shock to see it transform with the phrase 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.' I felt good that they trusted Lily and I enough to confide this secret. Sirius promised he'd take me on a run to Honeyduke's cellar someday, one of the many secret passageways that Hogwarts concealed.

"No, no, Peter." Lily said gently. "I think that star goes here." She pointed to an empty spot on his map of the sky.

"Thanks, Lily." He said softly and plotted the star where she had suggested.

The five of us had been waiting on Sirius to return from the Gryffindor Quidditch locker room. The next game was this upcoming weekend, and he was making sure all the equipment was in order.

"He sure is taking his sweet ol' time." I mused, flipping through The Daily Prophet.

The portrait hole swung open, and all of us turned to see if our friend had entered. He had, and he was looking worn. He had sweat running down his face, and he was breathing heavily.

"Sheesh! What happened to you? Did you run to Hogsmeade and back? You know you have a _map _for that…"

"What the **hell **Jackie?" He yelled, instantly wiping the grin off of my face. Lily's face turned sheet white. The other three Marauders were in silent shock.

"What? It was a joke…"

"No! What is this I heard about…ugh!" He threw his hands in the air, exasperated. "You and my brother! What the hell is that!" He spat. His face was contorted in a mixture of anger and disgust.

"What—I—" I couldn't form a coherent thought.

"Would you like us to leave?" Lily asked, her voice soft and wary.

"I don't know that we should," Remus said pointedly. "Can you control yourself, Sirius, or do we need to stay?"

"Just go," he rolled his eyes.

He waited for them to shuffle out of the room, all the while huffing and trying to bring his breathing down to a reasonably normal rate.

"What is this about, Sirius?" I asked, my arms crossed against my chest.

"I just heard you're dating my brother. Do you know what Avery asked me? He asked me what I thought about my brother fucking my friend! Do you know how that felt?"

I was in awe. Of course, _that _wasn't true—not that it mattered to Avery.

"Regulus and I have never—"

"So it's true though? You're with him?" He interrupted. His eyes looked considerably darker, an ominous shade of deep, dark grey.

"I—yes." I admitted at last, looking down at the floor. I don't know why, but all of a sudden I felt bad.

"I cannot believe this. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well what can you expect if this is how you react?" I asked helplessly. "You seemed to dislike him so much…"

"I can't stand to see another scummy Slytherin guy get a girl who is too good for him." He seethed.

"He's your brother, Sirius."

"Exactly! I know him, Jackie. He's into dark magic—the Death Eaters! He's not good for you." He had stepped closer to me, and I stepped back.

"He's been nothing but respectful to me. He's sweet, caring. He makes me laugh. If he's into that, he's never brought it around me. He's been a good boyfriend."

Sirius cringed at the word 'boyfriend.' "You've only known him a month. I've known him my entire life. He takes after my family, you see. He's obsessed with all this pureblood mania. He's an elitist!"

"Like I said, he's been nothing but respectful."

"You may not see it now, but he is _all _wrong for you. He's a Slytherin!"

"So what?" I scoffed. "Now who is being an elitist?"

Sirius shot me a deadly look. "Someday you'll see- if he hasn't already recruited you."

"You've got to be kidding me! Stop it with the patronizing tone. It doesn't suit you."

"I'm _not _trying to be patronizing—"

"Just shut up!" I yelled, shutting my eyes. "Just shut up already! It's my life! What do you even care?"

"You're dating the wrong Black!"

I could feel all the blood drain from my face; I felt numb. He had said it so loudly, I felt positive everybody in Gryffindor tower had heard. I opened my eyes slowly, but he was no longer standing in front of me. He was speeding off to the staircase that led to the boys' dormitories.

"Sirius!" I called, but didn't expect him to come back.

"Forget it, Jackie." He answered and ascended the stairs with impressive speed.

For a couple minutes I did not know what to do with myself. Then I headed towards the dormitories, where I felt certain I'd find Lily waiting to comfort me.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I don't know why, but this chapter took me a while to finish. Please let me know what you think!**

I entered the dormitory to find nearly every girl's eyes on me. Lily looked at them in disgust.

"Mind your own business," she said, and stood up to put her arm around my shoulder. "C'mon. Come sit down, Jackie."

I let her lead me to my bed, and I sat down next to her.

"What was all that?" She whispered, her head nearly touching mine.

"I don't even know."

"Jackie—this is serious."

"I know. That's the problem; it's Sirius."

Lily looked at me square in the eyes. Her green eyes were persecuting me. If looks could kill. "Jackie…" She sighed. "I know that's your way of dealing with things—making a joke of them. What happened?"

"Can we go somewhere else? I don't like the way they're looking at me."

Lily nodded and led the way. I followed her blindly; I did not know where she was going, but anywhere was better than Gryffindor Tower.

Her solution to my problem was the courtyard. There were few people around, so it ensured relative privacy. She picked a bench, and sat down. I took a moment before sitting; I was still trying to digest what had transpired.

"Did he hurt you?" She asked, but even she sounded doubtful.

"No. No, I don't think Sirius would hurt me. But he was very mad…as I'm sure you heard."

"Oh, I heard. The Hog's Head barman probably heard!" She laughed not from humor, but more from exasperation. "Did he say what I think he said though?"

"And what would that be Lily?"

"That…well…that he thinks you'd be better off with him."

"Yes," I mumbled, barely audible. "Who does he think he is? Trying to tell me who I should and should not be dating…He's a manwhore! And to think I was just starting to get used to him…"

"Yes, yes. I get it…The Marauders are prats. You're lucky you haven't had one of them pining after you for years!" She exclaimed. "I know you like Regulus a lot, Jackie. But maybe Sirius is right—what if he is into all that stuff? That's why I had to turn away from Severus."

"Yeah, that and the fact that he called you a foul name." I sighed. "Like I told him, Regulus has been so nice to me. He seems pretty popular among the Slytherins, and they almost revere him. They don't mind him dating a Gryffindor, though I'm sure they'd prefer him to be with one of their own. I'm sure if I was Muggleborn or half, they'd persecute him and me. The fact is, they don't. And I like him."

"Do you like Sirius too?"

"What is this, Lily? An interrogation?" I shook my head at her. "I can barely think right now. I'm a little in shock."

"It's a simple question. You know I'm not trying to push you…I just want to know."

"It's not so simple, Lily. Do you like James?"

"No." She answered immediately, but I could see her assuredness faltering. She looked like she lacked conviction, though her voiced had sounded firm and strong.

"Exactly, Lil. As far as I'm concerned, I'm with Regulus, therefore, I cannot like Sirius."

"That's completely irrelevant! You can like two people at once."

"I have Care of Magical Creatures in half an hour, Lily. I have to go get my stuff." I jumped off of the bench and ran off for Gryffindor Tower. I hoped the Marauders would not be in the Common Room, but I would not be able to avoid them forever.

I didn't even have to think about which way to turn or which staircase to take—it was all second nature. The only obstacles were the people standing in my way. Twice I nearly knocked someone over because of my speed. I wanted to snatch up my bag and book in as little time as possible, with the least likely chance of having to set eyes on Sirius Black.

When I was finally standing in front of the Fat Lady, I became aware of the fact that Lily was not following me. I felt my heart warm with appreciation. She _had _upset me just a bit, but at least she knew I would like to be left alone.

"Pig snout," I exhaled, and she nodded and swung open. As I darted through the Common Room (weaving in and out of clusters of students), Veronica waved to me from in front of the fire. I nodded, but offered no other salutation.

My bag and books were sprawled across my bedspread, and I searched through them to find my Magical Creatures textbook that Grubbly-Plank had assigned. It was quite large, and very heavy. By the end of the year I expected to have serious muscles.

As I exited the dormitories, I felt a hand clasp on my shoulder. I turned my head to look over my shoulder, suddenly face to face with Remus Lupin. He was smiling sympathetically.

"Sorry about Sirius, Jackie. Are you going to Magical Creatures?"

"Yes. Are you ready?"

Remus nodded, and gestured to his messenger bag. "All ready."

"You look very tired, Remus." I acknowledged, looking at him out of the corner of my eyes as we walked. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, yes. I've just had a lot of work, is all."

"I'm sure being James and Sirius' best friend doesn't bode for getting a good night's sleep." I chuckled.

"No, you're right—it doesn't. They are always up to something. Not to mention my Prefect duties…"

I knew what Remus was trying to do, and it was working. He was distracting me, making me laugh and engaging me in a stimulation conversation about Bowtruckles (we had just reviewed them in class the week prior).

When we reached the edge of the forest and saw Grubbly-Plank setting up for the lecture, I turned to Remus.

"Thank you for that, Remus. I really appreciate you trying to give my mind a rest, even if it was just for a little bit."

"My pleasure, Jackie. I know Sirius can be a little…confusing…at times, but I'm sure he'll come around."

"I better go see what Rebecca wants," I inclined my head towards the Hufflepuff girl who was beckoning me towards her.

"Enjoy class, Jackie."

"You too, Remus."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: This one is a short filler chapter. I'll admit it. It's filler. I wanted to write, but nothing too serious. I will have another update by Saturday (a longer one) if all goes as planned. Thanks for all your reviews, I really appreciate it. **

**By the way, if anyone is interested I have started a Scabior/OC fic as well. It won't be super longer or anything, but it's not too shabby. Check it out if you are so inclined!**

Halloween weekend could not have come at a better time. We were all stressed out from the heavy load of coursework our professors had set, and it had become more and more difficult to spend time with Regulus. Most of the time we were both swamped with work, and we were lucky to have an hour or two a week to ourselves.

I knew Regulus had a lot going on. It was his OWL year, which was enough to drive even the most level-headed insane. Many times Lily had to talk me out of hyperventilation—that mostly happened when I realized how little I had retained over the years. It was all a matter of perspective, of course, because I **had **learned so much. I had freaked out because I missed the tiniest, most obvious things—I didn't want to repeat that on the test. My Aunt Linda sent me many care packages that year, mostly boxes filled with materials to brew up coffee. She even sent me a nice kettle, which was convenient to use over the fire in the Common Room. All year long I was hopped up on caffeine; I don't know how I would have survived otherwise.

Aunt Linda was truly a lifesaver. She lived in London, not too far from the flat I lived in. She was the one who set me up with the humble flat, and I vowed I would pay her back. She knew how my parents were—they simply didn't care. As far as they were concerned, I was an unwanted addition to their harmonious household. I was the result of reckless drinking—an accident. Sometimes it felt as though they just forgot about me.

Sirius had been ignoring me—the same hand I was dealing him. I was surprisingly okay with it, and surprised that he was giving me the cold shoulder. I felt as though he was the type of person to push the matter, but apparently he meant business. I figured it was better to be given little attention than to have the inevitable unpeaceful confrontation every Charms class, however.

I exchanged few words with James—he seemed to have picked a side to back, and it certainly was not mine. He wasn't rude to me or anything, but it was awkward, because he was like Sirius' other half.

Remus, on the other hand, remained unfailingly neutral, for which I was grateful. I would have missed him if he had decided not to speak with me. He was the most mature of us all.

And Peter? Well, he and I rarely socialized anyways, lest it was about homework.

One pleasant distraction from all the drama was the upcoming trip to Hogsmeade, as well as the Quidditch game that was taking place in a couple weeks.

It was always fun to attend Hogsmeade on Halloween weekend. The decorations were fantastic, and it was a delight to stock up on sweets. Lily and I always went together, along with Marina and Petra. This time, I had shaken things up. I invited Rebecca. She was a Hufflepuff and she was in our year. I don't know why I had never invited her to hang out with us before. She seemed like she would fit in just fine with us—she was smart and witty, if just a little bit quiet. She was on the shorter side, just taller than the petite Marina. She had curly brown hair to her shoulders, and always had a pair of black-rimmed glasses perched on her nose. In the short span of time I'd spent with her in Care of Magical Creatures, I'd learned that she enjoyed reading and writing, and her life ambition was to become a Naturalist, hence her sticking with Care of Magical Creatures into her NEWT years. I was excited for the other girls to meet her, if they hadn't already. Of course, Petra most likely knew her well enough, as they were in the same House. But I doubted that Marina and Lily were familiar with her.

Also joining us was Levi, Petra's boyfriend. We were planning to go to Madam Puddifoot's for some tea—though Lily and I were actually hoping to get a good cup of coffee. I had forgotten to stock up on the proper supplies, and Aunt Linda hadn't sent any in the post yet this year.

On any normal occasion, we would have spent the entire day together. We'd probably nip down to Zonko's and marvel at the newest items, or eat samples of our favorite sweets at Honeyduke's. That would have to wait until the next trip, because Regulus (to my surprise—I thought he might want to go with his friends) had asked if I wanted to have a Butterbeer with him and then visit some shops. I was ecstatic. Ironically, being with Regulus made me completely forget what Sirius had said. Perhaps it was because it made Sirius' claims seem completely false.

Needless to say, I was highly anticipating Saturday.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Man. It's been a while, huh? I blame it on exams. I am so wiped out! It took me forever to hammer this out, and I am still not overly pleased with the result. Anyways, I haven't edited this yet, so it is probably a little rough around the edges. Or a lot. Please let me know what you think…I know this is mostly filler and not my best writing, but I wanted to post it. Sorry for the wait.**

I woke up at a decent time on Saturday. As much as I desired to sleep in, I knew I'd need the extra time to get ready. Hogsmeade trips always merited a little bonus effort.

Lily was lying down on her bed leisurely, flipping through a copy of Witch Weekly. When she sensed me staring at her, she tilted her head in my direction. I raised my eyebrows tauntingly.

"Witch Weekly? My, my, someone must be bored."

"I've been ready to go for an hour, sleepyhead. Besides, this is Cassie's. She saw me just laying here. You know I don't buy these magazines."

"I don't know why I've been so tired lately." I tried to comb through my hair with my fingers, but it was futile. They got all caught up in knots and tangles. Only a heavy-duty brush could fix my hair situation. "What time is it?"

"Only eight. I suppose you didn't wake up _so _late. We leave for the village at ten."

"I hope Rebecca gets along with everyone."

"Oh, I'm sure she will. At any rate, she already knows Petra."

"Very true." I rolled out of bed and stretched my arms wildly. "So what should I wear?"

Lily dropped the magazine onto the floor, taking special care not to bend the cover or any pages, though she gave it one last look of disdain before turning her full attention to me. "Well, I don't know. You want to impress Regulus, while still maintaining some level of comfort."

"Yep. Basically. I was thinking of wearing my magenta sweater with a pair of conservative khakis. Good?"

"The low-cut sweater?" Lily smirked, her eyebrows raised in accusation.

"It's just a v-neck!" I defended, throwing my arms above my head. With a flick of my wand, I produced the garment from my trunk. "You're just jealous, Lil. It would look great with your hair."

"I'm sure Regulus would like it."

"I think Reg will…"

"_Reg_?" She chuckled. "You've got named for each other?"

I blushed slightly. "Well, not really. I don't actually say it to his face."

"What if Sirius is right, Jacks? What if 'Reg' really is into all of that dark stuff?"

It caught me off guard; Lily and I had never really taken the time to discuss that particular part of Sirius' rant after our initial conversation.

"I-I don't know. Like I told you and Sirius, he has been nothing but respectful to me."

"I know. But that's beside the point. I don't want you to get sucked into it all like Severus did. I'm already worried enough about our favorite Ravenclaw."

"Marina will be fine." I asserted.

"And she probably will be. But I don't want to take that risk with you."

"I'll be fine, Lily. Truly. If it gets bad, you know I'll have the sense to leave."

She nodded. The fact that she was unconvinced upset me. She should know me by now. I was responsible enough to handle myself.

"Pass me your brush, yeah?" She tossed it my way, and I reached out to catch it. My fingers just grazed the handle, but it tumbled to the floor in a sequence of 'thuds.' "And **that **is why I am not on the Quidditch team."

"I think we'll have fun today." Announced Lily, now on her feet and sifting through her trunk for an outfit.

"Sure." I answered mechanically. I was still upset. Did she really have so little faith in me?

"Don't be so sour. Sour grapes Jackie…I'm just stating my concerns."

"Yeah, but you should know me by now! I'm smart! I know when to get out of a bad situation!"

"And _you _should know _me_ by now. I'm Lily. I'm practical. I care for you. You should know I only look out for your safety."

I rolled my eyes, but I knew it was true.

…

We met Petra, Rebecca, and Marina by the doors to the castle. It was chilly this weekend, and each girl was dressed in their warm sweaters and pants. As Lily and I approached the trio, I noticed that Marina and Petra were engaged in an animated conversation. They were desperately (and to no avail) trying to get Rebecca excited.

"You girls look lovely." I commented. Petra _did _look stunning. Her raven hair was pin straight and tucked delicately behind her ears, showcasing diamond studs that were attention-grabbing, yet still tasteful. Her eyes were accentuated with olive eyeliner—it made the golden flecks in her brown eyes sparkle. Petra was a natural beauty, and rarely wore makeup. Whenever she did, it only made girls grow more envious.

Rebecca and Marina were standing side by side, and it was hard to tell at first glance who was shorter. But upon closer inspection, it was clear that Marina was a good two inches below the Hufflepuff. Marina's hair looked different—I felt stupid for not being able to figure out why.

"It's the bangs." She answered, smiling at her ability to read my mind. "I've been getting that look all morning." Her normally straight-across-the-forehead bangs were swept across now, not quite long enough to block the view of her eye. "I thought I'd try something different."

"I like it," Lily nodded. "It suits you."

"Thank you!" She beamed and without even doing it consciously, traced the curve of her bangs to ensure they were in proper order.

"Have you ever been to Madam Puddifoot's Rebecca?" Lily prompted, hoping to break the ice. I had a feeling that maybe inviting Rebecca was poor judgment. I should have gotten to know her better first.

"No, actually. I was under the impression that it was only for dates, and also a little bit sickening."

"Oh, it's horribly tacky!" Petra giggled. "That's what makes it fun, though! I always get a good laugh.

"Why don't we start heading over? Hopefully it doesn't fill up too fast…"

"Lily! Honestly, it is Halloween weekend. Most people would rather spend the duration of the trip in front of the Shrieking Shack or stocking up on sweets. We're the only crazies who are spending most of the day at Puddifoot's."

…..

The tea shop was accommodating very few patrons when our group entered. Veronica and her two friends Lydia and Addy were all sipping from dainty tea cups and nibbling iced biscuits. The others were just the average Hogsmeade visitors. There was only one couple in the entire shop, which was a relief. Puddifoot's seemed to inspire cheesy interactions between lovers.

I gestured to a vacant booth. "Shall we?"

Rebecca nearly ran forward and slid into the booth so that she was against the wall. When she realized that we were all watching her as if she were some peculiar attraction, she smiled exhibition.

"I have this…thing…I need to be sitting against the wall."

"Really?" Marina asked in disbelief. "Me too!" She hopped up onto the bench and slid to the farthest end.

Petra glanced over at Lily and I, and I could tell she was trying to mask her amusement. She sat down on the bench next to Marina, and Lily and I joined Rebecca on the other side.

The menu was nothing exquisitely unique at Madam Puddifoot's, yet Marina was treating it as so. She seemed to have a hard time deciding what to order. In a hushed voice, Petra informed us, "Marina isn't a big tea drinker, nor does she like coffee. She gets awfully cranky around exams."

A woman approached our table, a pad of paper in hand and a quill in between her teeth. She looked tired, spent, yet it was only the beginning of the day. "What'll it be ladies?"

"I'll have a pumpkin fizz." Marina responded, and I looked at her curiously, then down at the menu. Sure enough, the refreshment she had ordered was on there.

"Aye, good choice. That's a new addition to the menu." She scribbled down the order, and turned towards Rebecca.

"I'll take the standard tea with milk or cream, whichever you carry."

"Cream it is, then." She wrote madly, then waited for Lily, Petra and I to order.

"Green tea, please?" Petra requested, and folded her hands on her lap. She always exhibited proper posture. I vaguely remember her telling me that she had once taken part in cotillion, and it must have become permanently ingrained in her.

"Coffee. Lots of cream, one teaspoon of sugar." Lily smiled at the waitress, who was taken aback at her preciseness.

"And for you?"

"Coffee, please."

"How would you like your coffee?" She prompted. Her owl-feather quill was poised to write whenever I gave the word.

"Black." I said. "Like my men…" I mumbled, barely audible, yet Lily's eyes somehow found it the opportune moment to stare at me.

"Great. I'll be out in a little bit with your drinks, ladies."

Lily did not take her eyes off of me, no matter how long I avoided looking up.

"What did you just say?" She whispered, leaning away from the other three.

"Nothing." I shrugged innocently. "I like my coffee black."

"I could have sworn…" She trailed. I had successfully made her second-guess herself. I was surprised she had given up so easily. That was not like her.

"So Levi bowed out last minute?" I asked Petra. She nodded in affirmation.

"Yeah. He's actually sick. He rarely ever catches anything, but when he does…well, it hits him hard." Concern was all over her face, and I could tell she wanted to check in on him soon.

"And Severus still preferred to go with his other friends?"

Marina looked down at her laps, her forehead was creased and her eyebrows were drawn together.

"I'm sorry," I apologized instantly. "That was a thoughtless question." I could feel that my cheeks had colored from my shame, but Marina actually smiled at me.

"I understood you. I know you didn't mean it cruelly. I asked him if he wanted to come with me, but he declined, yes. He wasn't going with anyone else, though. Last I saw him he was in the library studying for Potions."

"Is everything okay, Marina?" Lily inquired. Her eyes were softened; I could tell she felt truly bad for Marina, since she too had been brushed off by Severus.

Marina looked to her left at Petra, and there was a brief exchange between the two. "Everything is fine."

"No." Petra interjected. Her hands were no longer folded on her lap; rather, her palms were pressed down onto the table top, firm. She was taking a stand. "It's not _fine._ Tell them what's been going on, Rina. They have the right to know; we're all friends."

Marina took a deep breath in, then lifted her head and looked at all of us, even Rebecca (who probably didn't know the whole story). "Like I've been saying, Severus has been the most polite boyfriend. It's true, his friends are much less than savory…but as far as I'm concerned, I'm not dating his friends. Anyways…I suppose it's the hints he's been dropping, or really what he talks about. He knows I'm friends with you Lily. And though he doesn't say anything, it's painfully obvious."

We were all waiting for her to say it. I wanted to scream, 'Spit it out!', but I knew she had to do it at her own pace.

"He's in love with Lily, not me." Again with that sad smile. "I like him, but he'll never reciprocate that. I accept that. I-well…I'm going to break up with him tomorrow, though 'breaking up' doesn't seem like the correct phrase."

Petra patted Marina's shoulder, but I knew she didn't need that sympathy. She seemed oddly content, almost as if she had seen this coming a mile away.

"What about you, Jackie?" Asked Marina. "Are you an Regulus doing well?"

"Quite." Before I could expound upon my response, the waitress returned to the table. She distributed the drinks accordingly. Lily looked pleased with the color of her coffee—it was a smooth light brown.

As the woman set my coffee down in front of me, she said "Your coffee. As black as I could make it." My lips twitched into an awkward smile and I muttered a small 'thank you.' I feared that Lily's questions would surface again at this reminder, but she instead turned her attention to Rebecca, who had remained unsurprisingly silent.

…..

Regulus was ever the gentlemen on our trip around the village. He offered to buy me sweets and new quills, but I refused. That is, until we saw the licorice wands. They were my weakness, and he fully took advantage of it.

With a Honeyduke's bag in hand, I made a mad dash for Tomes and Scrolls, and Regulus had to run to catch up with me.

"Sorry!" I exhaled, breathing in wild gasps. "Lily and I nearly always run to the book shop. Old habit."

"No, it's fine." Regulus smiled timidly. "Quidditch has toughened me up; I can handle a little run. Besides, maybe I burned off that acid pop."

I smirked and gestured to the door. "Shall we?"

…..

Madam Puddifoot's coffee had been good, but grabbing a butterbeer with Regulus was even better. I would have never considered seeing someone younger than me, but Regulus was irregularly mature for his age. Perhaps he had inherited a gene that Sirius had not.

There had only been one blemish along the way: while in the Three Broomsticks, someone had stopped outside of the restaurant and peered inside the window. The person had watched Regulus and I for a few measured seconds, and when I finally fell victim to the urge to see who it was, I saw the dark look in his eyes. Anger and disappointment. It was the other Black.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Wowzah. This is considerably longer than other updates. I mean, it's not super long….but it took me a while to conquer (and I'm not even too satisfied with it!). Lemme know what you think about it. It's horribly clichéd ;)**

The first Quidditch game of the school year was always a time of excitement. People had amassed snacks and drinks from the last trip to Hogsmeade, and they were prepared with blankets, scarves, and hats should it become an all-day event. It was a blustery morning on the day of the game, and Lily and I were enjoying the time we had to spend without fear of Sirius or James interrupting. In fact, we were quite pleased that it was just us, Remus, and Peter in the common room. Most people had already made their way down to the pitch. Not us. We were getting in some last minute studying for the Defense exam on Monday.

"So Jackie…I've been wondering something." Peter said, and I lifted my head out of my ancient textbook. Mine had been secondhand, but really only because I'd wanted new robes more than a brand new textbook.

"Yeah?"

"Who are you going to root for?"

That was a good question, and one thing that I had not come to a decision about.

I had a duty to my House.

I was dating the Slytherin Seeker.

It was something I'd had to think about for a few days, when I first realized the conundrum.

"I'm not sure. I'll support Gryffindor, but cheer on Regulus in my mind?" I answered, but it only sounded as if I were posing another question.

"You can't do that," Remus smirked. "Pick a side."

"You of all people, Remus! Telling me to pick a side…" I sighed. "Gryffindor," I said with a smirk.

"Blood is thicker than water." Lily sang, and the boys chuckled.

"That's a bit of an exaggeration. We're not blood related."

"True, but Dumbledore does say our House is like our family." Remus said solemnly, and I sighed. He had me there.

"Touché." I nodded appreciatively.

"Shall we head down to the pitch?" Lily suggested, and stood to slip into her peacoat. I had a similar one in a marigold color, so it matched my Gryffindor scarf.

"That sounds like a good plan," Remus agreed, fetching his jacket from the armchair.

The four of us had an easy walk to the pitch. Since nearly everybody was already seated, the halls were cleared.

As we walked outside, we saw Petra and Marina chatting before the entrance of the pitch. Most likely, they were about to part and go join their respective Houses.

"Hello ladies," Remus greeted, and they beamed back at him.

"Hey Remus." Petra said, and then turned back to Marina. "I best be off. Levi is saving me a seat."

"I'll see you later then!" She waved goodbye to Petra.

"Want to walk with us, Rina?" I asked, and she nodded.

"I'd love that." She fell into step with us, saying hello to Peter and instantly warming up to everyone.

"How have you been holding up?" Lily asked, turning away from the boys.

"Just fine." Her smile faltered. "Petra would say otherwise, but she always blows things out of proportion. Honestly, I'm doing okay. I knew I had to break it off. Besides, Petra keeps saying I can do better."

"I'm sure you can," I agreed. "And hopefully someone who is not a Slytherin. Perhaps a brave Gryffindor, or an intelligent Ravenclaw like yourself."

"Yes, that would be nice. For now, I'm content to spend time with my friends." Her eyes suddenly lit up, a curiosity burning in them. "Oh! But who are you throwing your support behind, Jackie? After all, you're dating the Slytherin Seeker."

Before I could even respond, Remus had put his hand on my shoulder, and spoke for me. "Gryffindor. She's supporting Gryffindor."

"Good choice." Marina said. "Well, this is where I need to go to get to the other Ravenclaws. I'll see you lot later."

"To the left," Lily pointed. Everyone else began to climb, but I hesitated on the bottom step.

"D'you think I should go say good luck to Regulus?"

All three of them looked down on me, and I felt as if they were members of the Wizengamot and I was the one being judged.

"No!" Peter and Lily chorused, and Remus just shook his head with a teasing look in his eyes.

"Besides," Lily said, "the Slytherins probably wouldn't let you near their Seeker minutes before the game. At least, the Gryffindor team would not allow that. "

I nodded, not wanting to speak another word. I began the ascent.

….

James had beaten Regulus to the Snitch, and Gryffindor was awarded with a victory. It was won by a large margin: 420 to 200, Gryffindor. However, that gap had not been so wide before James grasped the Golden Snitch.

I did not care what my peers said: it was my duty as his girlfriend to go down and support Regulus. Before anyone could protest, I was barreling down the wooden steps. I had to dodge quite a few kissing couples, celebrating in the Gryffindor win. Most everyone else was rowdy and did not take care to make room for me.

At last, I reached the bottom of the stairs. Both teams were still out on the field, and I could get to them if I just ran fast enough. I bolted then, knowing full well that the teams would soon head back to their locker rooms.

"Regulus!" I called, but I doubt he could have heard me above all the noise. Hogwarts sure knew how to party.

It didn't matter. I was standing before the Slytherin team, on the verge of sweating despite the cool temperature and blustery wind. They looked at me as if I was an uninvited guest, and I suppose I was. They were mourning their loss, and I was sporting a scarf supporting the team that had beaten them. Salt in an open wound.

"Hey Jackie." Regulus greeted. His face was beat red from the cold and from flying at such a fast pace. When he saw the disgruntled expressions on his teammates' faces, he put an arm around my shoulder and walked me away from them—just a couple of steps, yet it made all the difference.

"Sorry you guys didn't win. I can't say I'm not happy there is going to be a rockin' party tonight, but I _am _sorry _you _didn't win. It would have been nice to see you celebrate, Reg."

"S'all right." He said. "It was a fair game. Potter beat me to it…"

"Potter." I rolled my eyes. "Now, see, I'll enjoy the party so long as he doesn't get so drunk that he'll bother Lily more than he usually does. Potter plus Firewhiskey…the end result is not pretty. The same can be said for—" Something caught my eye behind me. I glanced back, but only for a split second. It was enough. Veronica's coat had caught my eye; it was a vivid teal color. She was beaming, simply overjoyed at her House's win. I never knew her to be so passionate about Quidditch, but it appeared that she was. She had thrown her arms around the team's Beater. Sirius. He wasn't fighting it; rather, he embraced her back wholeheartedly, reciprocating the hug. Then it turned into more, and I couldn't watch any longer.

I cleared my throat. "The same can be said for Sirius. Well, not towards Lily at least. He acts like a fool to basically every woman, drunk or not."

"That's my brother." He sighed, and looked back at his team. "I better go. We're probably going to have a meeting on how to improve."

"Alright. I'll see you soon?"

He nodded, and then I found myself faced with the fact that I'd need to walk past the Sirius spectacle. At least they had separated.

Up until just a moment before I had been blissfully ignorant of the relationship between Veronica and Sirius. Relationship. Who was I kidding? Everyone knew Sirius rarely had 'relationships.' Especially not with younger girls.

'_Stop it. He's your friend.'_ The voice in my head chided. Stupid angelic voice.

Were we really friends anymore? It was a shame. We'd been getting along so well, until his prejudices took over.

I tried to ignore it. I walked right passed them, only focusing on how to reach my destination: the Gryffindor Common Room. I hoped that someone had been prepared for our victory.

….

My wish had come true. Once everyone had filtered into the Common Room, the real party began. Before Lily could advise against it, I accepted my own bottle of Firewhiskey. The burn was harsh, and with every swallow it felt like my throat was set freshly ablaze. Halfway through the bottle, I didn't feel that searing pain any longer. My throat had gone numb.

I don't know why I drank, really. It wasn't in my nature to over indulge in spirits. I certainly was not feeling full of House pride, so that could not be why.

"What the hell, Jackie?" Lily barked. "What is wrong with you?" She had her own Firewhiskey, but hers was in a small cup—a much safer portion. "You're not usually this…flagrant."

"You're no saint, Lil," I slurred, and gestured with my bottle towards the cup in her hand. She rolled her eyes and discarded her cup.

"I'm actually drinking responsibly, though."

"It's not like you're about to go and ride on a broomstick, or…I don't know!" I giggled uncontrollably, only resulting in Lily's increased agitation.

"Fine. Well, I've had my fill of partying. I think I'm going to lie down and try to tune out all this noise."

"Killjoy!" I screamed, dancing to the music that was being blasted.

"You'll regret this tomorrow!" She sang as she turned her back to me. I rolled my eyes, only to feel a strong dizzy sensation. I tipped the bottle back and was rewarded with one drop.

"Shit. Potter!"

Of course, Potter was the star of the evening. He was surrounded by almost every Gryffindor girl who was not ogling Sirius. And every guy wanted to know the little bitty details about the match. As the evening had progressed, his recount of the game grew grander and more impressive. But it was not his recollection of the game that I sought after—it was more Firewhiskey.

"Whitaker!" He addressed me jovially, a change from his recent coolness. "Enjoying yourself?"

"Tremendously. However, I would be having an even fabulouser…more fabulous? Oh! Forget it. I would like another bottle, please."

"My pleasure." He tossed it to me, and it was a wonder I was able to catch it. My sight was slipping away. Everything had a soft edge to it, a fuzziness.

…

Only a few people had left the victory party. I was sitting on the plush couch, slouching and trying to see straight. It was no use. I was drunk out of my wits.

I felt the couch cushion give way, and I turned my head. I tried to focus in on the figure but it was hard to see. I strained my eyes, and a drunken, goofy smile spread across my face.

Why was Regulus here? My heart leapt. What a perfect evening! Plenty of drink to go around, good music and friends—and a Gryffindor win to boot! And out of nowhere, my boyfriend was there.

"I'm so glad you're here!" I enthused with a high-pitched trill. It was so unlike me. The Firewhiskey had made me more adventurous. I never would have danced the way I had if not for the burning liquid.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Yes!" I nodded vehemently and everything started to spin. I was barely able to regain my bearings before he kissed me. It was an action that should not have come as a shock from Regulus—we'd done it so many times before. I had been so out of it, however, that I couldn't even see him leaning in.

The kiss was different than all the others. There was something about it that seemed forceful, greedy. Not at all unpleasant or unwanted, just…different. The act went on for minutes, our lips moving against one another's hungrily. It was not long before he was hovering above me, close enough that I could feel his heart beat against my own chest.

"Want to go upstairs?" He breathed, and I nodded, my judgment clouded. He shifted himself off of me, and we both stood up. He took my arm, and I was glad for it. It was difficult to walk in a straight line, and his support made it worlds easier.

I didn't even stop to consider the absurdity of it all. Regulus, take me up to the Gryffindor dormitories? Where was the logic in that?

The dormitory we entered was empty, to our delight. He didn't waste any time. The door was locked, and he was shedding sweater. I collapsed onto a bed and waited for him to join me.

….

I groaned, my eyes squeezed shut. I didn't want to open them only to be greeted by the morning sun. My head was pounding, and it felt as if a spike was being driven through my skull. I felt queasy.

I rolled over, expecting to see Lily offering me a cup of water and maybe some breakfast. I had no such luck.

I stayed silent, and just stared. My mind felt numb. Last night flooded back to me, though most of it was still sketchy and I had to do some major guesswork.

There was a beautiful specimen lying next to me, sleeping peacefully and completely unaware of my horror. It wasn't Regulus. Of course not. How could I have been so reckless to mistake Regulus for his brother?

Damn Firewhiskey.

I was so screwed….

'_Literally,'_ the devil inside me said smugly. I massaged my temples, but it didn't ease the aching. I needed to get out.

My clothes were sprawled across the floor next to the bed. They were just a further reminder of my humungous mistake.

"Damn," I whispered and pulled on my black jeans. "Stupid, stupid, stupid."

Once dressed, I paused before the door. It had remained locked all night, and I had no idea where any of its usual residents had gone to sleep. Were they waiting outside the door?

I glanced back at Sirius, still dozing. There had been alcohol on his breath, so I suppose it was no use blaming him, or claiming that he used me. He couldn't be my scapegoat.

There would be no apparating out of the dormitory, since I was not certified to, and it was impossible within Hogwarts. I'd just have to take my chances.

I grasped the doorknob and turned. There were two guys passed out by the doorway, but the alcohol was so present in their system that it was not even a concern. I whizzed past them, and practically jumped down the stairs. There were at least fifteen people sleeping in the Common Room, all in various states of disarray. Somehow the mess had been cleaned up, probably as a precaution—just in case McGonagall decided to drop in.

All I wanted was to take a shower, as if it would somehow cleanse me. I didn't want to have to confront Lily, but I knew it would be impossible to avoid.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: It has been such a long week…I was doing homework non-stop, was sick, and just haven't been sleeping soundly. So this chapter is filler, filler, filler! Regardless, I hope you enjoy. Thanks for all the wonderful feedback. Keep it coming!**

Lily, predictably, bombarded me with questions. I didn't want to answer any of them, and her critical tone was hurting my head.

"You know, you could consider being compassionate." I said, massaging my temples and squinting in pain.

"Well, sorry. What did you expect, me to hand you a refreshing glass of water and breakfast in bed?" I had to fight a grin, because I _had_ been expecting her to do just that. "Where have been all night, anyways? I went looking for you early this morning, but you weren't anywhere."

I felt my face burning. How could I tell her? It was so shameful…

"I don't know?" I squeaked lamely, and she raised her eyebrows, unimpressed.

"You don't know?"

I shook my head. I knew eventually I would have to tell her, but I didn't want to.

"Just spit it out, Jacks. You can tell me."

"Can I?" I asked, maybe a bit too harshly. "Or will you just judge me?"

"I won't judge. Have I ever?" Lily looked offended.

"Maybe you don't realize it, but sometimes you can be judgmental. I'm not saying I'm not either, because I can be."

"I apologize. Just let me know what is going on."

"I didn't sleep in my own bed last night." I announced, but she wasn't surprised.

"I know _that_! I was looking for you."

"I woke up in the boys' dormitory."

This caught her off guard. It seemed as though she didn't know what to make of it.

"Why? I mean…how?"

"You know what that Firewhiskey did to me….I was having a good time. I thought he was Reg."

"How could you mistake someone for Regulus? What happened?"

"It started off innocent enough. And besides, you know what condition I was in! Then…"

"Then!" She probed; her green eyes seemed to glow in disbelief.

"Then we went upstaits. That is all I care to divulge."

"Oh no. You don't get off **that **easily. So who was it?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I didn't want to be the one to say it out loud.

"No…Jackie!" She realized who it was. It all clicked. "Looked like Regulus…" She mumbled. "I cannot believe it! That…ugh! He took advantage of you!"

"No. He didn't, Lil. He was drunk as well. It was a mutual mistake."

"Was it worth it?" She quipped. "Was it at least good?" When I didn't offer an answer, she continued. "I can't believe you…you of all people. You always said how much of a slime ball Black is. You do realize you're just like one of his slags, right?"

"I thought it was Reggie!"

"Even when he took you to the Gryffindor dormitories? Even then?"

I faltered. I couldn't remember.

"I think you like him, Jacks. I think deep down, you knew who it was."

"Maybe I did!" I shrugged helplessly. It was eating at my insides. What if? Maybe I had known it was him the whole time, and I was trying to justify my actions.

"Let's go down for breakfast. I'm sure you're hungry after last night." She didn't seem as angry, but I could tell she was still frustrated with me.

"Sounds good. It would probably be best to get something into my stomach."

Once I looked decent, we began to walk to the Great Hall. There was nothing but silence between the two of us. She would come around eventually.

The Gryffindor table was buzzing about the game still, and there was even more talk about the victory party. When Lily and I sat down, the questions began: Wasn't it great? Where were you? Did you see that goal?

I had already had enough, and I hadn't eaten a single bite just yet.

"Morning Evans, Whitaker." Sirius greeted, and sat across from us. "Have good time at the party?"

I chewed my toast very slowly. He was acting as though nothing had happened…not last night, and not the iciness that had existed between us for nearly a month.

"Yeah." I swallowed and locked eyes with him. He didn't take notice of my stare. He just began pleasantly chatting to James.

It was odd, because it felt like there was no bad blood between us. All was forgiven: we were all friends again. All it took was a drunken party and a quick shag. Go figure. James was acting perfectly civil, as well. I wondered if he knew. After all, I'd told Lily right away.

I finished my piece of toast, and though it was not nearly as filling as my normal breakfast, I didn't have the stomach to eat anything else. Luckily, I didn't have to wait long for everyone to finish their meals.

We had double potions right off the bat that morning, but I didn't mind. I enjoyed that class, and I hoped it would inspire Lily to talk to me. She had been mum at breakfast, only speaking to Peter and Remus.

When everyone rose to leave, I knew what had to be done. Once we were outside the Great Hall, I reached out and grabbed Sirius' arm.

"Wait." The others continued on without us, only briefly stopping to acknowledge that we weren't following. No one questioned us, and for that I was glad.

"What is it, Jackie?"

"How can you just let this go?"

"I had figured you wouldn't want me to scream it out for the whole school to know."

"Well, no, of course not…but-"

"But what? You're dating my brother," the words sounded poisonous. "It was a mistake. It meant nothing. We were drunk. We did something stupid."

"Does James know?"

"No. All I told him was that we made up last night."

_Pffft! __**Made up!**__ I'd say._

"I just…"

"It's over, Jackie. It meant nothing." He began to walk away, and I couldn't help but ask myself if I was disappointed. I could feel it: I wished it had meant something. Maybe Lily was right.

"So we all just go back to normal? Like when we were friends?" I called after him. He turned on his heel and nodded.

"Sounds about right."

I didn't know how easily I'd be able to do that. I'd woken up next to him, hung-over and guilty as sin. That kind of thing did not just erase itself.

"In case you were wondering, you were good. At least, I think."

My face drained of all color. He had succeeded: I did not want to press the subject anymore. All I wanted to do was go up to my bed and lie down, perhaps read a book and then just close my eyes. Instead I would have to go to Potions and try and make peace with Lily.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Review? And yes, there is a couple super cliché things in here.**

Christmas break was nearing. It had become increasingly difficult to be around Regulus without risking spilling my guts. He was so loyal and _nice. _

As much as I hated to admit it, I had begun to see what Sirius had warned me of. Regulus was being seduced by the dark arts, and the darkest wizard of all: Voldemort. He didn't try and wrap me up in it, for which I was grateful. And he didn't explicitly tell me that he had joined in on the twisted fun. It was obvious, however, and my inside source (my new friend Lauren) was relaying everything she observed to me. She was also a Slytherin, and we had met at our Apparating lessons. She was not as bad as some other Slytherin girls were. No doubt she was cunning and smart as a whip. She knew how to get her way, that was certain. But she didn't seem to be as cruel or ill-tempered as her other female housemates. Lauren had initially been surprised to find out that I was dating Regulus, since he was quite popular among his fellow Slytherins, and also because he was a year younger. I didn't see why she should be so shocked; she was dating a Hufflepuff boy named R.J. It was rare to find a Slytherin who would look twice at a Hufflepuff, regardless of their looks.

"He's been quite chummy with Avery and Mulciber lately, not to mention Severus Snape. They all huddle together and whisper fiercely…sometimes for hours on end. It's quite a distraction when I'm trying to accomplish anything." She sighed and shook her head, her near-black, shoulder length hair swooshing around her face like a curtain. "He's got to be considering going the Death Eater route. Many are thinking about it; I hear a couple students everyday weighing their options. I guess many of their families are sympathetic to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's views." She shrugged. "My family is not. In fact, my father's best friend is Muggleborn. He would never sign up to this regime."

"Thanks for telling me, Lauren, though I'm not exactly pleased." I shut my eyes and rubbed my forehead. I almost wished that Regulus could be cruel to me so that I didn't feel so bad. I had been considering breaking up with him ever since my confrontation with Sirius. Not only was I confused about my feelings for Sirius, but I was plagued by intense guilt. Every time he smiled at me or complimented me, all I could think of was the feel of my body moving against Sirius' underneath the scarlet sheets. It nearly made me sick to my stomach to think of the infidelity I had committed. Had I always had a thing for both Black brothers, even before I had tipped back that first bottle of Firewhiskey? I had no clue, and it had me going bloody insane.

Lily and I had gotten over our rift within hours. I think she realized that it wasn't really my fault, and that things like that were bound to happen to _somebody _at _some point. _ We had only had to go through Potions in uncomfortable silence, but Slughorn's compliments on both of our brews was enough to get us gabbing once again.

After a long week of work and confusing feelings, I decided to take a walk outside the castle. It was very late, nearly nine thirty. I was fully aware of how dangerous it was, considering students weren't allowed on the ground passed a certain time. It was definitely passed curfew. I was crafty, though, and I felt certain that even if I were caught, I could talk my way out of detention or whatever punishment they set on me.

The front doors were locked, of course, but I had not forgotten the secret passageways that had been on the Marauder's Map. I hadn't set eyes on it for a while, but I had been so fascinated by it that it would have been hard for me to _not _memorize every little surprise Hogwarts had to offer.

I just needed some fresh air, even if I had just had Care of Magical Creatures earlier in the day.

Walks helped clear my head, and I certainly needed that now.

The grass was slightly damp on the Hogwarts grounds. It must have rained not too long before. I wouldn't have known. I had been shut up in the Common Room doing a Transfiguration essay McGonagall set. Three feet of parchment. Three feet!

I could feel the bottom of my robes becoming wet. I didn't care. It felt nice out—the air was cool, brisk. I didn't know where I was walking to; I just kept going.

The moon was bright and full. It cast a dull, blue light onto the grounds, and in the distance the black lake was illuminated.

The Whomping Willow was busy tonight. It was shaking its big club-like branches, lashing out violently. I knew one place I would not be wandering off to tonight.

From my left, I heard a loud howl. 'Awooooooooooooooooooo!' It sounded painful. It made my skin crawl. I knew there were werewolves around the school, but I'd never seen or heard one.

I shrugged it off. No one had ever gotten hurt before, to my knowledge. I would have heard if anyone had been attacked. I walked down a slope and towards the Forbidden Forest. I didn't plan on venturing inside, but my feet were taking me in that direction—my mind was elsewhere.

I'd have to break up with Regulus. That was that. If he ever found out what I had done…I just couldn't face him if we were still together. I'd been so foolish.

Yet there was that part of me…that tiny sliver inside the corner of my mind…that flirted with the idea of a relationship with Sirius. Hadn't he hinted before that he had liked me? Hadn't his passionate outburst been proof?

My head hurt, and whether it was from the bipolar weather or not, I didn't have the faintest clue. I walked some more.

I sighed, and my breath was visible before my face. The temperature had been steadily dropping as the days went on. It wouldn't be long before the Common Room would be decorated with stockings and tinsel.

I heard twigs snap from behind me, then a terrible growl. A helpless whimper followed it—the sound of an animal in distress. Slowly, I turned around.

A monstrous creature stared maliciously at me. Its eyes seemed to have power over my movement, and I stayed locked in place. It was thin and had minimal hair covering its skeletal body. The jaws of the werewolf were long, fitted with terrifyingly sharp teeth, slightly yellowed. They also held a blood red tint. I glanced down infinitesimally. My breath caught in my throat. There was a great black dog at the werewolf's feet, breathing raggedly and bleeding from the right side of his face. I wanted to go to it; I was good at Healing, and I could probably help it. I couldn't risk it though…it was too dangerous.

I heard hooves behind me, and suddenly an impressive stag was involving itself in the situation. It approached the werewolf, shielding me from its direct field and rearing on its hind legs to intimidate the wolf. The two engaged in a fight, and it allowed me the space to attend to the shaking dog. Just as I was about to inspect the wound, the shaggy black dog was no longer there. I had blinked, but that was all the time it had taken: Sirius Black now lay before me. Blood was dripping down his face, and his breathing was labored.

"Oh my God." I gasped.

"Help me get back to the castle." He rasped. Without a second though I lifted him up of the ground. He put an arm around my waist, and I supported him as we walked back towards the school. I couldn't be concerned about what was going on behind me, nor did I want to know, really.

We reached the front doors in surprising haste. I laid him back down again, and told him I'd go get Madam Pomfrey.

"No, no. Not yet. James…"

"James?" I asked, utterly confused. I got down on my knees and began to look at his gashes. It could easily be fixed with a bit of dittany. I rummaged in my cloak and found the tiny pot I always kept on me. You never knew when it would come in handy. I began to distribute it over the wound, and I flinched whenever it made contact. It looked painful.

"Yes. And Remus as well. Plus Peter."

"Sirius." I stopped applying the medicine and looked him in the eyes. "What the hell is going on?"


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Been a bit longer than usual. My apologies. Please review!**

Somehow, Sirius and I managed to get back into the castle unseen. We wound through passageways unknown to the rest of the student body and ducked behind suits of armor. It was a relief to reach Gryffindor Tower, and an even greater relief that the Fat Lady was feeling generous. She didn't complain or demand an explanation as to why we were out so late. She simply swung open when I muttered the password.

The first step into the common room was like stepping into heaven. It was filled with the warmth of a burning fire; the wood was slowly deteriorating, and within the hour the flames would be significantly diminished in size. Nonetheless, it was a fine welcome.

Sirius was still a bit weak, but I had sealed his wounds to prevent infection. He swore that the pain was going down, but part of me felt he was just saying this to appear stronger. He pulled away from my support and shuffled over to the couch. I searched the room for a couple minutes before producing a goblet and handing it to Sirius.

"Aguamenti." I murmured with my want pointed into the goblet. It filled with clear, cool water instantly, and Sirius downed it in an instant. I refilled it. This process took a couple minutes; once he was satiated, he handed me the chalice. I set it down on the coffee table. A minute of silence.

"Better?" I asked. Though I was speaking softly, it seemed so harsh and garish in the mid-night peace.

"Yeah. Ugh," he put a hand to his forehead, and I stood up. "What?" He asked wearily.

"Nothing." I answered. "I see your head still hurts."

"Yeah, well, when a werewolf takes a swipe at you you're not likely to come out of it unscathed."

"About that." I placed my hands firmly in my laps, fingers intertwined so I could not fidget anymore. "What is this? All of this…tonight. I'm confused."

"You should be. You're smart—brilliant—but I wouldn't expect you to get this."

"Okay. So tell me what is going on."

"Moony should be the one to tell you…Remus, I mean."

"Stop beating around the bush, Black." I sighed. I was tired and emotionally drained. The last thing I wanted was to play games with him.

"I suppose he would want you to know. You two _are _friends, after all." On a side note, "Where is Peter? I thought he would have been back by now…"

He was gazing into the fire, deep in thought. I stood once again, but this time I took a seat next to him. He didn't seem to notice. He just kept staring, entranced by the dancing flames.

I took his face in my hands and gently turned it towards me. His eyes showed shock—it could have been from my boldness, or from the temperature of my hands. "Sirius. You have to understand how crazy this is to me. I just witnessed…I don't _know _what I witnessed! Focus. Tell me!"

"Remus…He has a secret. Only a few people know. The teachers know. Obviously I know, and so do James and Peter. But if everyone knew, if it even leaked to one wrong person…If parents found out, he'd be out of here. No more Hogwarts for Remus, no matter how hard Dumbledore would try."

"What could be that bad?" I asked, though I did not mean to vocalize the thought.

"Remus is a werewolf." He said, and he looked straight into my eyes. He looked sad. It was clear how upset his friend's suffering made him. "That was him who attacked me, and set his eyes on you. He's vicious. Usually he shuts himself into the Shrieking Shack, but…well, you saw."

"But he doesn't know he's doing it, right? Remus would never do that to me, or you. Oh, James! Do you think he's okay?"

"James can handle him. So you figured it out? That last bit of the puzzle."

"You three are all animagus. You're the dog, James is the stag…what's Peter?"

"A rat. Small. He can get away relatively easily. He's probably already in bed." This had a bitter tone, but I chose to ignore it.

"How did you get registered? I would think you'd be too young."

"We are. But we arranged it so we could be unregistered animagus. We figured Remus would like some company on full moons."

"That's nice."

"You seem shocked." He noted. "I know it is a lot to take in."

"It sure is. But it's Remus. He's my friend. If that's how it is going to be, I'll have to be there for him."

"He hates himself for it, you know. When he finds out he nearly ripped you apart tonight, he'll probably try to avoid you."

"Not if I can help it. I'll need to speak with him."

"Of course."

The portrait hole swung open once more, but it seemed that the Fat Lady was not as complacent as she had been upon our entrance. She was griping about students being out of bed at such 'an appalling hour' and 'I need my beauty rest!' Still, Peter and James entered in the middle of these complaints.

"Is Remus okay?" Sirius asked immediately. James nodded. His hair was extremely untidy, much more so than on any normal occasion. His brow was soaked in shining beads of sweat. Peter was devoid of any fatigue; in fact, he scurried up to the boys' dormitories without another word. "What's up with him?"

"Dunno. Maybe he's just embarrassed that Jackie knows now."

It was as if I was not there. I sat back and watched the exchange. I felt bad that I had made so many judgments about the Marauders. There was much more to their friendship than the normal person saw.

"I think it's time to turn in." James ran a hand through his disheveled mop-like hair. "It's been on hell of a night."

"Yeah, I agree. I'm pretty beat." Sirius stood, and offered me his hand. Normally I wouldn't have taken it, but the weight of the night's events was weighing heavily on me. I felt my eyelids slowly drooping—I just needed time to digest this, and a good night's sleep would do me well. Not that I would get a very long slumber—it was nearly one in the morning already. I grasped his hand and allowed him to pull me up. He led me towards the staircase, and I when I had reached the third step, I turned around.

"Goodnight Sirius. I hope you feel better soon."

"I'm sure I will, thanks to you. 'Night Jackie."

I nodded at James, and then ascended the stone staircase. I hoped no one would wake upon my entrance, but by the time my hand made contact with the doorknob, I could not be bothered to care.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hello dear readers **** Sorry for the wait! Not my best update…no, no, no. But, alas, Spring Break is nearly upon me, and I'll have time to really write. Jackie (real life) has been bugging me to update. So here you go! Please review…And yes Jackie, I know I'm prolonging the inevitable. I can't help it. **

Lily was packing feverishly. The night before we had had a leaving feast, and she had stayed up later than usual speaking to Potter of all people. She had meant to pack last night, of course, but time must have gotten away from her. I wouldn't know; I fell asleep almost immediately. The mashed potatoes and gravy had had a tiring effect on me. At least I was well-rested in the morning.

"I'm going to miss you, Lil."

"I know you will. I'll miss you too, of course. I wish you could stay with me…but Tuney wouldn't like that one bit, you know. And you have your flat, but I imagine it just is not the same."

"Definitely not."

"And going back to your parents…?"

"Not likely. Last I heard, mom's band was traveling across Canada, and dad's MIA. I sent him an owl, but I haven't heard back."

"At least this time away from everyone will leave you time to think about Regulus." Lily said optimistically. I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but it only made it worse. I knew that once he returned from Christmas break, Regulus would have to find out everything. I couldn't _just _break up with him. I was too honest for that. He needed to know what happened…_why _we couldn't be anymore.

"If only I didn't have to." I groaned.

….

By ten thirty everyone who was leaving Hogwarts was boarded on the train, preparing to go to their homes for the holiday. Few were staying behind. In fact, it seemed as though the only Gryffindors left in the Common Room by eleven were Sirius and I. I knew that there were a couple younger students taking their holiday at Hogwarts, but none that I knew personally.

I had talked to Remus just before he left. It was clear that he felt horrible. There was great anguish in his eyes, and I tried to console him. I knew he didn't mean to hurt anyone, and I let him know so. He needed to know. He was beating himself up over something that could not be helped. It probably didn't help much, but I just wanted him to understand that I didn't hate him.

The rest of the day was lonely. Sirius and I lounged about the Common Room. We occasionally suggested things to do, but none seemed adequate. I had a feeling it was going to be a very long Christmas break.

"We could play a game. I have a wizard's chess set and Exploding Snap."

"Maybe," I responded, which always meant no.

"Look, we've got a whole two weeks ahead of us. We might as well entertain ourselves."

I sighed. He was all too right. Ugh.

"Exploding Snap? I haven't played that in ages." I dropped into the chair across from him. The chair gave a puff of air in protest. "Alright. Let's do it."

…

My eyes opened. The shades were drawn tight, which would have been odd on any other day. Since no one else was in my dorm with me, I was able to close them and not have anyone throw them open at the crack of dawn. I took my time getting out from beneath the covers. I wanted to savor the first morning I didn't have to get up for classes.

I got ready leisurely that morning. I brushed my hair without haste, didn't even fuss with makeup, and took my time choosing an outfit. I ended up choosing a pair of comfy khakis and a purple sweatshirt. It was cold in the castle, despite the fire burning in most rooms. Winter was in full swing.

As I descended the stairs, I smelled something underneath the scent of firewood. I sniffed, but couldn't place it. I took the stairs two at a time, now eager to discover what was in the Common Room. When I reached the bottom, I felt my mouth pop open into a small 'o'.

"Morning sunshine," he smirked. "Took you long enough." He was pushing eggs around a plate, and I saw that there was a full platter of food.

"What is all this?" I wondered out loud. Though in shock, I walked over to him and sat next to him on the floor.

"Breakfast. It's really good." He ate another bite of eggs and then chased it down with what looked like fresh orange juice.

"Yes…but _how_? I mean, you could not have gotten this from the Great Hall?"

"Nope. The house elves did it for me."

"Excuse me?"

"Just tickle the pear on that one tapestry. It gets you right into the kitchens. Easy. I just asked them to prepare something for me. I said you weren't feeling well and couldn't go to the Great Hall. I probably didn't have to say anything, though. They'd have clamored to do it!"

"But why?"

"Why what?" He asked.

"Why would you do that for me?"

"I guess I just didn't want us to start off on the wrong foot." He looked so sincere, it was impossible to think of something negative about him. Then the memory of the party flooded back…

"Futile." I mumbled and grabbed a plate. "Well, thanks."

"Welcome." He went to pick another piece of toast—but so was I. It was just like in those horribly cheesy Muggle movies, but at the same time it wasn't. Yes, it was horribly typical…but his hands were warm and he didn't shy away from the contact. Neither of us did. In fact, he grasped my hand, forgetting about the toast.

"I'm sorry about what happened. I should have realized. I mean, I was so drunk…but I should have watched what I was doing."

With my free hand I tucked a strand of hair being my ear. I looked resolutely at the ground. "It was my fault too. I can't deny it…"

"Can't deny what?"

I glance at him out of the corner of my eyes, and then back down. "That I…enjoyed it."

"Yeah?"

I nodded. "I—something I wonder…if I knew it was you deep, deep down…but I was just tricking myself."

"No. I don't think you would do that. You didn't like me anyways, at least I don't think. You probably thought I was my brother. I'm sure you did, as much as that sickens me."

"Mmm." There was a rapping on the window pane, and both of our heads snapped up. "Oh! An owl…" I jumped up and ran to open the window. The owl had a small scroll attached to its leg, and I quickly untied it. It was a beautiful black owl with wide, intelligent green eyes. I dropped a couple knuts into the bag tied to its leg, and then began to unravel the note.

_Dear Jackie,_

_How is your break so far? I hope you are doing well and enjoying time away from class. I'm writing to ask you a question. My parents always have a holiday party this time of year, and I was hoping you'd attend. They fully approve of you coming over, at least for the evening. It is in two days. Please write back with your answer—I'll be eagerly waiting._

_Love,_

_R. A. Black_

I stared at the silky parchment for a moment without really knowing what I had just read. I was aware that Sirius was now reading over my shoulder, and I could feel his hot, agitated breath on my neck.

"They can't know you're a Gryffindor, then." He said once he had finished reading.

"Are they really that bad?"

"You have no idea." He said darkly. He moved away from me and ran a hand through his long hair. "Obviously you can't go."

"Oh, _obviously?_"

"Well, yeah. It's not really safe. The people who'll be at the party aren't _good_. They're the type that are dying to recruit people like Regulus—Death Eaters, pureblood maniacs."

"But Regulus really wants me to go."

"How much do you really care for Regulus? You _did _have sex with his brother." I could see him fighting a smile while trying to remain serious.

"Shut up." I waved him off and took a piece of bacon off of the tray. It was dark and crispy, just like I liked it. He couldn't have known it, though.

"You **know **you have to break up with him. I know you do. I hear you talking to Lauren and Lily sometimes. As much as I loathe him and my family, it isn't really fair to him to keep him in the dark, thinking he's in a faithful relationship."

"You're one to talk." I seethed. "Wait—you've been _eavesdropping_?"

He clearly ignored my last comment. "I'm just saying that you don't want to cross him. He's a Slytherin—remember that."

"Mhm. I think I'm going to go." I went over to the desk and pulling out a quill and some ink. I quickly scribbled a note back to Regulus saying I'd be there whenever he wanted me. When I had handed it to the owl and turned back around, I found Sirius closing his eyes and rubbing his temples.

"You just won't be satisfied until you see it for yourself, huh?"

"_Nope_." I responded, emphasizing the 'p'. "Exploding Snap rematch?" I suggested. Sirius was heading towards the portrait hole, though.

"Nah. I'm going for a walk." Then he was gone.

…

I was at a loss for what to do for the rest of the day. I had homework, but I knew I would leave it off until the last couple days.

At around two, I received an owl back from Reg telling me the particulars of the party. It was in two days at five in the evening. I was to wear formal dress…It sounded like a big deal. I was nervous, and still confused about my feelings, but I was going to go and hope all went well.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: This took me FOREVER to write. Ugh! I had terrible writer's block. Please review 3**

Despite that initial awkwardness that was our Christmas break, Sirius and I went back to 'normal' (whatever that was with us!) within hours. I guess we mutually (and silently) decided it would be better to just live and let live. He agreed to play a rematch of Exploding Snap after his walk around the castle.

We had breakfast in the Common Room for the next two days. It was nice not to have to get ready in a hurry to grab some food from the Great Hall. I felt a little guilty having the innocent house elves prepare us meals, but they seemed eager to do so. Sirius had taken me with him on the second day to put in our order, and one of the elves delivered it to us the next morning. She was a skinny thing, boney and leathery. Her skin was a baked brown color, and her eyes stood out against the darkness of it in a shocking way. They were large and bright. The whites of her eyes were crisp and her pupils were a clear blue. She's fussed about the Common Room, setting out a tablecloth and silverware. I told her she didn't need to, but she wouldn't listen to me. Sirius didn't protest at all; something told me he was used to this at home. Sure enough, when the elf left, he said offhandedly, "I wish Kreacher was so accommodating."

….

It was four PM, and I had my dress laid out on my bed, and my accessories were on the bedside table. Professor McGonagall had arranged for me to use her fireplace to Floo Network my way to the Black's residence at Grimmauld Place.

It was my only dress, but it was a nice one. It fell just above my knee caps, which I thought was modest enough for the event. It was a rich indigo fabric that felt weightless when worn. Of course, I would need a jacket. The air outside was chilly, and though the dress had capped sleeves, they were lacey and provided little to no protection from the cold. Oh well. At least it made my blue eyes pop.

It was ridiculous how long it took me to get ready. After a handful of days of not caring, I seemed to be out of practice.

The sad part was that I knew the relationship had to end. This would probably be the one time that I would ever meet the remainder of the Black family.

I gave up on my hair. It held a gentle wave, but I had wanted something more grandiose. I ended up sticking a silver headband with a dainty bow attached to it in my hair. It added a bit of glamour without looking like a Christmas tree with too much tinsel. With a final glance in the elongated mirror, I grabbed my bag and the bottle of meade I had bought from the Three Broomsticks and exited the dorms.

Sirius was lounging about and sipping pumpkin juice from a silver goblet. There was a younger girl reading by the fire—I think her name was Julia, but I couldn't be sure. She looked cozy with a fleece blanket wrapped tightly around her. I could see her eyes dance up from her book every few seconds to steal a look at Sirius. He didn't seem to notice, and for some reason it put me at ease.

I cleared my throat to get his attention, and I was rewarded with his attention. His grey eyes widened a bit, and I was very satisfied.

"You look great, Jackie." The girl, we'll call her Julia I suppose, suddenly turned sour and didn't glance up again for some time.

"Thanks, Sirius. I hope your parents will approve as well." I grabbed my cardigan off of the couch and shrugged into it. "I'm not sure when I'll be back…"

"Probably not for a while. My parents like to do things big and over-the-top. I wouldn't expect you until midnight."

"Seven hours?" I gasped.

"I wouldn't be surprised." He answered without any expression or inflection.

"Okay then…See you later!" I went to exit through the portrait hole, but his hand caught my wrist.

"Be careful. I know you're stubborn and you don't want to listen to me…but be careful. My family isn't nice."

"I'll be fine." I assured him, now sick and tired of hearing him damn his family to Hell.

…..

The Floo Network always left me feeling extremely disoriented. I took a moment fixing myself up before stepping out of the grate.

There were so many people! I felt instantly inadequately dressed. The men were in the finest dress robes I had ever seen, each made from lavish fabrics. I desperately searched the room for Regulus, but he didn't seem to be there.

I found myself plastered to the wall. The tapestry behind me rubbed against my bare skin, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant—it was a bit chilly in the house.

"Drink?" A man offered; he was wearing all white and he was carrying a tray of wine flutes. This was a fancy party! They had servants!

"No thank you, sir." He seemed taken aback by my regard for him. He smiled and nodded. "Oh…Riker?" I called as I read his nametag.

"Yes ma'am?"

"Is there a Regulus Black here?"

"Master Regulus? Yes. I believe he's in the dining room. I can go get him if you wish…?"

"That would be great. Thanks!" I felt a little more at ease knowing that he was here, but I felt as if everyone was looking at me—judging and wondering why on earth I was standing in the Black's house.

Luckily Riker obliged my request. Regulus was standing before me in no time, a broad grin on his face.

"Merry Christmas Jackie!" He pulled me into a hug, and it was impossible for me to not smile. I knew that soon I would have to do the inevitable, but for now I relished the moment.

"You too, Reg."

"Do you know anyone else here?" He asked, gesturing broadly to the crowd in the living room.

"I don't think so. Wait…is that Lucius Malfoy?"

"Where?"

I pointed near a door and Regulus followed my finger. "There. With the long blonde hair. He always did have such nice hair…."

"Oh, yeah that's him. My cousin Narcissa invited him. They're going out. They graduated a couple years ago, though…"

"They look vaguely familiar." I gestured to another couple. One had blonde hair, but less blonde and less straight than Lucius'. I think her name was Sarah. The other was Ret. He had short cropped hair, but the rest was uncertain. I couldn't make out any of his other features because well…they were making out! It was a sight to see, but not one I wished to ever witness again. It was like watching a guppy and a piranha kiss—and Ret was **not **the piranha. I found it odd that they were doing that so publicly with such reputable people watching…

"Well, I wish I could wash my eyes out…" I groaned and shielded my eyes. Regulus laughed.

"There's always 'obliviate'." I rolled my eyes, but smiled nonetheless.

"I don't think I could be so openly affectionate in this atmosphere….what do the adults think?"

"Oh, I'm sure the adults approve. They both come from well-bred families. If their relationship progresses to something more serious…well, it would be widely celebrated."

_Well-bred? _The phrase brought images of dog shows to my mind. Was that how high-society wizards thought?

He must have sensed my discomfort, because he swept me in the opposite direction.

"Do you want a tour of the house?"

"Sure." I tried to smile, but I knew it would look forced. Regulus was unfortunately perceptive.

As we were about to turn the corner, two stately looking people were standing before us. They looked like royalty, and their clothing stood out against the predominantly dark décor.

"Regulus." The man droned, and with cold calculation, he looked me over. I felt uncomfortable, and my hand that was linked with Regulus' became clammy.

"Father." He bowed his head minimally, then turned to me. "Father, mother—this is my girlfriend Jacquelin. Jackie, these are my parents Walburga and Orion Black."

I felt suddenly small. I was unsure what would be the proper gesture: a simple handshake or a curtsy. I settled for a handshake, though they were hesitant to engage me in physical contact.

"Pleasure to meet you," I greeted with a shaking voice. These were the parents Sirius had warned me about. His descriptions didn't seem too far off—though I should not judge by looks.

"I'm going to give Jackie a tour of the house—is that alright?"

"Yes, just be sure to make it a quick tour. You'll need to make your appearances…"

"Father, everyone has seen me already anyways."

Orion Black didn't respond, and neither did Walburga. They walked away with their heads held high. So that's where Sirius got his arrogance.

Regulus showed me around the first floor, and then we went to the second floor. We passed by many closed doors, paintings, and tapestries. It was a remarkable building, aged and very much alive.

"This is my room." He didn't make to open the door, so I kept moving forward. There was another bedroom not too far down, but it was Sirius' this time. I stopped outside of it. My hand itched to grasp the doorknob and turn. Perhaps Regulus saw this desire. He didn't say anything.

The house tour began to bore me, but I feigned interest. Regulus was trying hard to impress me, but to be honest, everything about the home was impressive compared to a dingy flat. I had begun to tune him out, which I knew was extremely rude. It wasn't until we came full circle in the living room that I came back to earth.

"Regulus, can we speak with you?" It was Walburga Black, surely a force to be reckoned with. Regulus nodded and gave me a reassuring look.

"Why don't you introduce yourself to Cissa and Lucius? I'm sure they'll recognize you."

Then they were gone.

I found the couple in the same spot as before—at least they were not acting like Sarah and Ret.

"Hello." I murmured, and the pair looked at me in surprise. This was going to be awkward…

…

Regulus was gone for a very long time; Narcissa was politely trying to engage me in conversation, but it was clear we didn't have much in common.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to see if I can find Regulus. It was nice speaking with you!" I hurried off in relief.

I scoured the house for any sign of the Blacks. I followed the same route that Reg had taken me on, but I didn't find them until I reached the drawing room. The door was half open and I could hear hushed speaking.

"She's below you, Regulus. And a Gryffindor you say! It won't do. A Slytherin is the only way to go. Who did you say she was friends with again?"

"Lily Potter. She's very smart."

"And a mudblood no doubt!"

"Yes, she is. But Jackie isn't!"

"She's fraternizing with dirt. Pure blood is all and well, until you dirty it up by being a sympathizer to filth."

"You should not let this relationship last much longer," it was Walburga speaking now. "We can't have you ending up like S-si"

"Don't." Orion barked.

"She's not one of us, and she never will be. Remember that Regulus."

I peeked in the room and saw a sprawling tapestry. They were very fond of them, it seemed. There were faces all about it, and dates and names as labels. There was a great char mark and as I squinted, I gasped. _Sirius._

I turned around in a flurry and dashed back to the living room. I got lost a few times, but after some trial and error, I was in the fireplace screaming "Professor McGonagall's Office!"

….

The sight of the Common Room was a relief. I found Sirius still there, only now he was reading the Prophet.

"How was it?" He deadpanned, not once looking at me.

I threw off my sweater and fell onto the couch next to him. I must have startled him, because he finally averted his eyes from the newspaper.

"I'm so sorry Sirius. You were right. All this time you were right and I was just in denial…" I felt my eyes prickle. _Damn! Not now…please…_

No use.

The tears began to fall, and I hastily used the back of my hand to wipe them away.

"Don't cry, Jackie." He soothed, but it didn't make them stop. "What happened?"

Whatever I said, it was incoherent to me. Yet Sirius somehow seemed to understand, or at least he knew what I was feeling.

"Not to be a prick, but I did warn you. I told you so."

And just like that, we were making out on the Common Room couch, completely sober this time.

"What about Regulus?" Sirius asked against my lips. I felt the tears gliding down my face and I wondered when they would end. I shook my head.

"It's over. It's been over…ever since that night. I realized I didn't love him like that—if I had even loved him. This was the last straw…"

His voice had turned to a husky gravel, "Good choice."


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Been a long time coming, and this is a short update I'm afraid! I've been really busy with school and everything in between. I hope you accept this apology: I'm sorry. Please review!**

Christmas morning came surprisingly fast. It was as if I had blinked, and suddenly there was an elegantly dressed conifer in the Common Room, its long branches covered with needles and shading dozens of presents. I wondered which were mine, or if I had any at all. I expected none from my parents, and would be quite in awe if there was anything from them—even a simple card. Still, the sight of the brightly wrapped presents brought a sleepy smile to my face. I didn't even reach out to see if there were any designated for me; I just fell onto the couch and gazed at it. Lily was at home, perhaps still sleeping, but I still felt blissful. Sure, her company would have been wonderful, especially on this holiday, but Sirius and I were doing just fine. More than fine, actually.

He'd said many 'I told you so's', which did annoy me to no end. Yet I could not deny that I liked being able to be so open with Sirius. Often we walked the grounds, or played games. Sometimes we'd just sit at the fire and do nothing but drink warm butterbeer and poke fun at outrageous stories in the Daily Prophet. It had been a very good break so far, and I was looking forward to the last few days.

Curiosity finally bested me. I slumped off of the couch and fell to my knees in front of the mountain of presents. I scanned over them, searching among the scrawled names. I saw three for Sirius, most likely from James, Remus, and Peter. There was also the odd card or two for him, probably from admirers for fellow team mates from the Gryffindor Quidditch team. I secretly wished it was the latter.

"Aha!" I whispered, pulling out a large box from the back of the tree.

_To: Jacquelin_

_From: Lily_

I couldn't help but be overjoyed that there _was_ something for me to unwrap, and it looked rather promising from the size. Before I began to wreak havoc upon Lily's exquisite wrapping job, I saw a smaller package addressed to me, and then two more. My interest peaked, and I retrieved them as well. There was a final one lying in front of me, in such an obvious position that I had not seen it. I had five to open? With my head cocked to the side, I tried to make the ultimate decision: which to open first?

Lily's was too tempting to pass on. I ripped off the ice blue paper and found myself confronted by a box. I had to take the key to my trunk from my pocket and slash away, only to be greeted by littler packages wrapped in the same gorgeous paper. Blue was a favorite color of mine—Lily must've kept that in mind while preparing the gift. Before even opening any of them, I already felt bad. My gift to her now seemed insignificant. It had been a beaded bracelet I'd had commissioned by a fifth year Hufflepuff named Joanne. She'd been excited to be asked, as she hadn't really sold any of her creations. I had asked her if she could make one in the Gryffindor House colors, and she was pleased to do so. Even though it was a beautiful piece of jewelry, it didn't seem to amount to the mystery before me.

There were five individual presents total. Four were books, two concerning witchcraft (an astronomy book and one on runes) and the other two were Muggle novels I'd never heard of. Pleased to have much new reading material, I set them aside with care. The last item left to open ended up being a set of colorful ink.

Of the other four, one was a simple card. I tore it open with earnest, but found only a note written on lined paper and a small button. The button had my mother's band logo on it. Beautiful.

"Why bother?" I asked to the air. I tossed it aside without taking a second glimpse at the letter, now feeling slightly spiteful. My spirits rose when I saw the remaining gifts were from Petra, Marina, and Remus.

Remus, who I had sent a rather good book, picked out an assortment of delightfully colored sugar quills and also a _real _quill from a snowy owl.

Petra (who was spending the Christmas holiday with Levi at a ski resort) took up knitting a month or so before the shopping season had begun, and it was clear that the scarf she knitted me was one of her first attempts. It was lumpy and slightly (well, that was an understatement!) off-kilter. It would look awkward on, but it was the thought that counted, and I placed it around my neck immediately.

Marina's (now seeing a fellow Ravenclaw named Xenophilius. What a name! I suppose it wasn't so out-of-place for Hogwarts…They were an interesting couple, though they hadn't had much time to develop yet.) present to me was two chocolate frogs and a bizarre ring. I couldn't tell what it was supposed to be, but the card said that "Xeno" had helped her make it. He was weird, but then again, Marina was not "normal". She went for Snape, after all. C'est la vie! They seemed happy.

"Having fun?" A voice asked from above. I smirked and tilted my head backwards.

"Merry Christmas, Sirius."

"Happy Christmas to you too, Jackie. Did you score anything worthwhile?"

"I think so. A couple great books, candy, a scarf," I gestured to the knitted mass around my neck, "and this…er…_interesting _ring." I spread out my fingers so he could get a look.

"Let me guess: Marina?"

"Yep."

"Xeno is an oddball, but he has his heart in the right place." Sirius sat down next to me with his legs crossed. "See any in there for me?"

"A few. One from each of the boys, I expect. I had absolutely no idea what to get you, Sirius. Is a rain check okay? Next time we go to Hogsmeade, I promise to go crazy."

"It's fine. The fact that you're going to break up with Regulus is enough. However, I have something for you."

I internally groaned. Of course he did.

Sirius handed me a long, thin box. There was no paper to struggle with, so I just removed the top. Inside was a beaten piece of parchment.

"Is this…?"

"Yes. The map." He could see my confusion, so he took the box from my hands and held the map up. "We're going to go on an adventure."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Quick update! Woot woot! I had to rewrite nearly the entire chapter. It wasn't too fun, and I feel like the first version was better :/ I'm going to try and get another update done soon. No promises, but I ****want**** to because there are certainly some issues that need to be resolved. As always, I appreciate every review I receive. Thanks for the support, and please enjoy and review if you feel so inclined!**

He had shown me the precious piece of parchment before, but he'd never shown me exactly what it could do.

"See this?" I looked at where he was pointing and saw a little 'x' beneath the Whomping Willow. "It's a secret passageway. There's many more of them on the grounds…this one is my particular favorite," he dragged his index finger down to one that looked to be on the third floor. "You know the one-eyed witch statue? All you have to do is say 'dissendium', and you're walking along a path that'll get you right into Honeyduke's cellar."

"Wow," I said with a gasp of awe. It was no wonder they prized the map so much. It was surreal to see Dumbledore move about his study, or to watch a boy named Gary Illiad take the journey from the dungeons (he was most likely a Slytherin) to attend breakfast in the Great Hall.

"A ticket straight to Hogsmeade…you guys are geniuses."

"Yeah, we kind of are. Ready to go?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Let's go buy a ton of sweets and eat until we puke."

I checked my pockets and was glad to find a handful of coins—more than enough to buy a couple things from Honeyduke's. Sirius patted his own pockets, and was rewarded with the sound of clinking pieces of money.

…

We held hands as we flitted through the castle, searching for the statue of the one-eyed witch, or as she was formally known as, Gunhilda of Goosemoor. We weren't too worried about teachers stopping us, or finding us out. They were as much on vacation as we were; I highly doubted that Flitwick would take time out of his holiday to patrol corridors or inquire after students. Besides, barely anyone had stayed behind. There was the odd Slytherin or two, and only around four Gryffindors, including ourselves. The rest were a ragtag group of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws.

Soon we were there. We stood in front of the statue for a moment, just staring at the likeness of the one-eyed woman. It was an unpleasant sculpture, and I didn't wish to know how dark it would be when we would enter the pathway. We made sure the coast was clear, and then Sirius said firmly, "dissendium!"

…..

The way to Honeyduke's cellar was not as dank as I had expected, but perhaps that was because I had company, someone who had traveled that way many times. It was very cold underground, and possibly even cooler in the cellar. I couldn't believe that we were in the heart of Hogsmeade, all thanks to a map and the handy Marauders.

With the help of stealth, we made it into the shop unnoticed. We began to pile sweets onto the counter. I was never brilliant at Divination, but I could see a sugar rush in the future.

…..

Once we'd smuggled our way back into the castle, we had to sneak out once again.

"Where are we going?" I asked, following Sirius across the grounds.

"To the passageway I first showed you."

"By the Whomping Willow?" I squealed, and he chuckled.

"Yes. Relax; I've got it covered."

My breathing was uneven, yet I still trailed behind him obediently. Within minutes we were standing in the ominous shade of the ginormous Willow. I stopped approaching, but Sirius continued to walk forward.

"Are you insane?" He was reaching his hand out towards the trunk, and I watched in horror, absolutely helpless. Yet just as a branch was moving violently towards him, he poked a knot, and the branch halted mid-swing. My mouth popped open in surprise; I had truly felt he would be unconscious, bloodied, and possibly dead. He was full of surprises.

"C'mon." He walked a few paces towards me, grabbed my hand, and dragged me down underneath the roots of the Whomping Willow. "You look terrified."

"Because I _am_." I mumbled.

It was dark and dirty in the room we ended up in. It was stuffy, yet intimate. We unloaded our pockets and made a pile of Honeyduke's finest sweets.

"Looks good." Sirius smiled before digging in. He took a handful of Every Flavor Beans without even considering the disgusting flavors he could be ingesting; I was not so careless. I chose a sugar quill as my first indulgence. They were my favorite, by far.

Once we got situated, we just talked. It was nice, relaxing. My stomach did begin to churn, and I felt a stomach ache coming on.

"Where are we Sirius?" I questioned through a mouthful of chocolate frog.

"Shrieking Shack," he answered, though it sounded more like 'sweekenshawk'.

"Excuse me?"

"Shrieking Shack." He repeated after swallowing thoroughly.

"No, I heard you. I just thought it was a cruel joke."

"No, I'm serious."

I tried to bite my tongue; the pun was very tempting…

"But it's haunted. This is crazy, Sirius."

"We're safe."

"Not according to the villagers, or anyone _sane_!"

"It's Remus, Jackie."

"Remus?"

"Yeah. On the full moon, he comes here to wait it out."

"So _he's _the one everyone hears…Oh, Remus!" I shook my head. It must be agonizing for him.

"When there aren't any humans to bite, he has to resort to attacking himself."

"No wonder he always looks like death." My stomach now felt worse than before.

"Hey," Sirius touched my arm, providing momentary warmth. "Remus has had time to come to terms with his condition. There's no going back."

"I just wish there was something I could do." I looked down at my outstretched hands that were so skilled at healing.

"We all do, Jackie. The thing is, you can't cure lycanthropy."

I nodded, knowing just how right he was and silently cursing him for it.

"Want to head back to the castle? Supper ought to be on soon."

"Sure, though I don't know that I could eat another bite."

"Oh, if they have pudding I'm sure you'll be able to."

I pushed him playfully, grateful for the change of mood. I didn't want to be a total downer on Christmas.

….

Sirius was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Yes, he skived off classes and sometimes had piles of neglected homework, but he had keen intelligence—I guess I never appreciated his mind. I feel this is important to note, because the day before everyone came back, we tackled our homework. Care of Magical Creatures required a one-foot essay on the Antipodean Opaleye. I was the only one of the two of us actually taking the course, but Sirius helped me research. It was a creature from New Zealand. A dragon, in fact. Though dangerous, it sounded beautiful. It boasted iridescent scales, which must be mesmerizing to the eye.

Flitwick's assignment was simple enough: practice a couple spells. Of course, students at home (and under 17) wouldn't be allowed to completely this task until they returned to Hogwarts. Flitwick probably would not have held us accountable, but Sirius and I still tried them out, if only to have something to do.

Other than that, we just chilled and enjoyed the last hours of unadulterated silence before the other students returned.

…

Immediately when I woke up, I knew I had slept late. I could hear people filing into the dorm, some were unpacking—I could hear the sound of zippers and trunk locks.

I shot out of bed, and when I didn't see Lily, I dressed with haste. Then, I was off to the Great Hall. I found her standing with the usual suspects: Petra, Levi, Marina, Rebecca, Remus, and Peter. When she saw me, she waved and the others followed suit.

Before I even got to say 'hello' to her, Marina spotted Xenophilius. Her face lit up, and she bolted towards him. We all watched in surprise. I don't think any of us (not even Petra) had seen her like this. He embraced her with equal enthusiasm, and when they broke apart, Xeno took her hand and spun her, as if dancing. Whatever he said to her brought a mild blush to her cheeks. In little time the pair was in front of us, radiating light.

"It's good to see you all! Xeno and I are off to the Black Lake to look at Grindylows! Perhaps we'll even see a Kelpie!"

"Perhaps we shall, my pixie." I highly doubted that, but the serene look on Xeno's face stopped me from objecting.

"You two be careful!" Lily said sternly. "I don't want to see you hurt. Grindylows, for goodness' sakes…"

"We'll be fine, Lily. See you guys later!"

Xeno waved goodbye and allowed Marina to guide him. They were a sight to see—two Ravenclaws, one short with dark hair, put together with a dash of signature quirky accessories and the other nearly platinum blonde, handsome in a very unconventional way (perhaps only a way that Marina could appreciate—after all, she had gone for Severus) and walking in a carefree, airy manner. He was spacey.

Petra must've seen the look on my face. "I know he's odd…but the difference between him and Severus is overwhelming. She's so much happier with him. Like night and day." Petra seemed to be pleading his case.

"That's what matters. You don't need to defend him, Petra. He's a good guy, or so it appears. I don't think I've ever seen her so cheerful."

"The difference is love. Severus didn't return her feelings, but I'm nearly positive Xeno does. Or he will."

I nodded in agreement. I glanced over at Lily. I was eager to catch up with her. I saw her smiling wistfully after the disappearing forms of Marina and Xeno.

"I'm glad she's over Severus." She explained. "Sure, Xeno has his head in the clouds—but it's better to be with someone who dreams than someone who refuses to at all."

"I thought you just said they were being reckless." I smirked.

"It's true. I'm sure they can handle themselves, though. Besides, searching for creatures and sitting by the water is far less hazardous, in my opinion, than dating a Death Eater."

I knew where this was going, and I wanted to steer clear of it. I planned to talk to Regulus later that day, but I didn't want it on my mind at the moment. I just wanted to be with my friends.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: On a roll? I think so ;) This chapter has a lot of fragments….whatever! I hope you enjoy. Many important things occur. Please review!**

I had prolonged it too long, and now I was sweating it out. Regulus was supposed to meet me outside the Great Hall before dinner, where he _thought _I was going to ask him how his Christmas vacation had been—that was not the case. It was time to break up.

After spending the holidays with Sirius, I was pretty sure I was making the right decision. Besides, now I didn't have to admit to my unfaithfulness. I had obvious reasons to sever ties.

"Jackie," I heard my name and turned towards the direction it came from. Regulus was smiling, making him look youthful and energized. I felt a pang in my heart, but I couldn't back down.

"Hey Reg." I swallowed and tried to smile. It was hard to when all I felt was shame.

"How was your holiday?"

"Reg, I have to tell you something…er…rather, we need to talk."

The fatal words. Regulus's face fell and he nodded grimly.

"Ah." He put his hands in his pockets and looked up at me. He didn't look angry, but disappointed. "What was it? The age difference? Me being a Slytherin?"

"Um, actually it was your parents."

"My parents?" He asked, visibly confused. I wish I didn't have to explain.

"Yes. At the party, I went looking for you. I sort of overheard them talking to you." I sighed and looked away from him. It was too hard to say to his face. "They hated me, Reg. I'm not _right _for you. You're so loyal to your parents, and they cannot stand me. It wouldn't work. It can't. I can't change that I'm a Gryffindor, or that my best friend is Muggle born."

"I can't believe you heard that." His face had become stony, almost no trace of emotion.

"We obviously don't share the same values. I think we need to break up. It's not the age, or your House. Trust me, my friends have tried to persuade me with those reasons, and I did not listen!"

"Okay."

"That's…it?"

"Yeah. Clean break."

"Alright. I guess I'll just…see you around?"

He nodded stiffly, which was sufficiently awkward. I walked backwards a few paces, then bolted towards the Gryffindor table.

Dinner was on, and it looked good. My stomach was **not **up for such rich food, however. Not after that ordeal. I didn't know what to think. What had I expected? Regulus to beg me not to break up with him? That didn't happen.

….

I had expected to feel relieved after breaking up with Regulus, but I just felt like rubbish. The only thing keeping me going the first week of class was the promise of a Quidditch match on Sunday. It was Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff, and Petra, Levi, and Rebecca were all ready to support their team to the death. We playfully threatened them, and Levi and Peter actually bet against one another—a shocking exchange seeing as Levi didn't just throw his money around on anything.

…

Usually we would have sat with the others, but seeing as our teams were against one another, we separated. It was too bad; it would have made for some fantastic smack talk.

Xeno was not one for Quidditch, but Marina dragged him. Well, perhaps 'dragged' is not the proper word. He didn't put up much of a fight, and he didn't seem _so _disappointed that he was there.

"Who are we supporting?" Xeno asked, directing the question to Marina.

"No one in particular, as we have friends on both sides. Unless you were leaning one way?"

"No, no."

They waved goodbye and walked to the portion of the pitch for Ravenclaws.

"Look at you, Lily-all bundled up."

She smiled, "It's freezing outside. I don't see how Marina can stand wearing that skirt."

"You seem to be staring quite intently at the field." I raised my eyebrows in an interrogative manner.

"Oh shut up, Jacks."

"It couldn't have anything to do with Potter?"

Her already red cheeks (cold from the biting, frosty wind) flared nearly to the color of her hair.

"Possibly. I've decided to give him a chance. We…uh…"

"Yes, _Lil_?"

"We have a date set…for the next trip to Hogsmeade."

"And **why **did you neglect to tell me this?" I demanded, but before she could even open her mouth to answer, Madam Hooch had blown the whistle and both teams were off.

It was hard to see what was happening on the field because of the harsh winds. Though it was winter, I could sense a thunder storm approaching—there was electricity in the air.

The Chasers for the Hufflepuff team were good matches for ours. Our Beaters, however, were stronger. Their accuracy aided the team greatly.

With the score relatively even, it was up to Potter and Isa Jones (the Hufflepuff Seeker) to finish the game.

James must have caught a glimpse of it—a flash of gold in the horrible rain, which coupled with the tumultuous air made it difficult to see at all, let alone catch a small ball. He dove quickly, hoping to out fly his opponent. He outstretched his hand, just a foot away from another 150 points. Isa came behind him and bumped his broom aggressively. James didn't take it too badly, though. That would be the dumbest move Isa had made in her entire career as Hufflepuff Seeker. The premeditated collision was just what James needed to close in on the elusive Snitch. As soon as his gloved fingers curled around the ball, the Gryffindors roared in cheer.

Lily and I leapt to our feet, clapping wildly; the movement made my frozen fingers feel like delicate icicles poised to fall off of a sill, yet I was too happy to cease the applause.

"There'll probably be a party," Lily noted above all the noise. Her tone suggested further meaning. "Don't get yourself in the same situation as last time, please."

"I won't." I promised, not wanting to act defensive and ruin the joyous moment. We were one step closer to the cup!

We walked down the stairs and ran out to the field. But we were not the only girls there to congratulate our team.

And there was Sirius, predictably chatting to a circle of female admirers. He openly flirted with them, even allowing a few to kiss him on his stubbled cheek. He encouraged them.

It infuriated me.

I watched, a good ten feet away, with squinted eyes and slightly parted lips. Anger coursed through my veins.

"How could you, Sirius?" I asked, but I might have just posed the question to the very wind that whipped my face.

It did not matter that James had girls around him, or that every player had at least two 'fans' talking to them. No. All that mattered was that Sirius was back to his old self again. All that mattered were that these girls kept saying 'Oh, Sirius, you were so great!' 'You did such an amazing job hitting that bludger at the Hufflepuff Chaser!'

I took three steps forward, and repeated, "How could you, Sirius?", a little louder this time.

No answer. I was just drowned out by the fangirls' squealing. They didn't know who he was. They could have no idea: he was damaged goods, just as much as I was. He hid behind a mask of beauty and arrogance.

Did he think of no one but himself? Did he think of Veronica? It had just hit me that they might still be an item. She, who probably thought they were still together. The one who was probably on her way back with friends to the Common Room, to the warmth of the fire. Did he not think of her? Did he not **think** of me?

I could acutely sense that Lily was over my shoulder, a few paces back—watching, even though it was raining. I wished I could go to her and tell her, "Let's go inside. Let's get out of the rain so we don't get sick." That I could be unselfish for once. But I couldn't. I had to resolve this.

I felt that he could see me out of the corner of his eye. As a Quidditch player, he must have good peripheral vision. Yet he made no move to look. That was it.

I couldn't stand that he had spilled his guts to me about his damn family, that he had shown me the secrets that the Marauder's Map concealed—I could not stand the idea that he was a different person over the winter break with me. That he had confided in me…that I had confided in _him_! Look at him now: a hot commodity. I couldn't fathom how he could get up there and be so fake, when underneath his façade was a solemn and lonely man. Surrounded by friends but abandoned by family. Not so unlike myself, I had thought.

And at the end of it all, maybe the problem was that I was seriously in love with him. Perhaps I just couldn't take the idea of him pretending to be something he was not, and have girls fawn over him for it.

Once again, I stepped forward—up to my ears in agony over watching the scene. I had to do something. Confronted with the bodies of the hormonal girls, I pushed my way through, as if I were parting the seas.

He looked at me in surprise, water falling down on our faces. It was like in those movies Lily had suggested to me, when people were about to confess something great and powerful. I was not intending to confess anything. I was about to reprimand him.

"I cannot believe you, Black!" He just looked at me, laughing it off as if I was just a crazy girl. The others, slags and wannabes alike, turned their attention to me and appeared like they wanted to scratch my eyes out or inflict other bodily harms on me. I glared back. I knew who they were; we were in the same House; in the same dormitory in some cases. I knew their dirty secrets—knew it all. I heard them in the middle of the night crying over boys, family…did they not know that? Obviously not, as they were casting harsh judgment.

"You…I don't even know what to say. You left Veronica up at the Common Room. Have you even said hello to her yet? Have you told her that you're over her? She does not deserve that kind of treatment. Maybe I _was_ jealous of her, being with you. Now I just feel sorry for her. No, I take that back. I feel sorry for you for having to pretend. Over the winter break, I thought I met you. The true you. Comforting, sweet, adventurous, intelligent—but above all, abandoned and searching. Perhaps I was just tricked, like them—tricked into believe you're something more special than you are. I can't believe I fell for it. I thought I was smarter than that."

Sirius, in a hushed tone, asked the girls to leave. They reluctantly dispersed.

"I thought we had something. Whenever we held hands or walked around the castle…I savored those moments, but you didn't, apparently. I'm disappointed…disappointed in myself! I feel humiliated. I left Regulus—upon _your _urging! I finally realized that you were right! For what? I just don't know. I thought we knew more about each other. I thought I knew the real you. But I guess I know exactly what I did when we started this charade of trying to get along—you're nothing."

"Jackie…" He was whispering, either at a loss for words or trying to detract the attention. "I was completely honest with you."

"I thought we had something, Sirius. I thought that was it. I finally gave in to you, and here you are!" I gestured my hands around the stadium. "Girls throwing themselves at you, and you take it and act like a king."

"Over holiday—that was who I am. But I'm this as well. I'm this person to the rest of the student body. If they knew how weak I can be…you're right, I am nothing." He shrugged. "I've got a handful of friends, sure. The rest of the people are clinging to me because of my looks, right? Because I'm nothing but my appearance. That's what you're saying, correct?"

I couldn't form a coherent thought. I'd done it—I'd hurt him. I could see it in his eyes.

"You want a commitment. I get that. I just don't know what I want…I just know I like you very much."

"You like those other girls a great deal then, too?" I quipped, arms folded.

"I don't. Stop attacking me."

"Then why do you do it!"

"I don't know!" He roared. Thankfully, most of the players had left for the castle and the spectators were leaving. "I must be messed up, yeah? It's who I am; then you come along and I'm confused. Everyone else has been a fling—one night stands, the odd date or two. I've never felt like this about anyone. I'm just not sure how to deal with it, okay?"

I opened my lips to speak, but they were soon captured by his. It was an aggressive kiss, fueled by his intense emotions. I resisted, but only for a moment. I forgot everything I had said, and just focused on what I was feeling. I sighed into the kiss, surrendering to this reconciliation.

"Inside!" McGonagall barked. She was nearly drowned out by the thunder.

Sirius pulled away with a sigh of his own. He smiled crookedly, and I could feel my lips twitching into a similar expression.

"That's that, then?" He asked with his signature air of arrogance.

"That's that." I nodded in confirmation.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: I know I haven't updated in SUCH a long time. I had AP tests for two weeks and I graduate very, very soon. This week is my last week of high school, and I cannot believe it. I have had no time to write, really, so what is the outcome? A tiny, tiny update where it seems the author's note is meatier than the content! This is filler at its fluffiest. I just needed to post **_**something **_**for my own sanity. I'm going to try hard to get updates out quicker once I finish school, but who knows! Thanks for sticking with me, and expect a more substantial update soon.**

I was over-the-moon happy about Sirius. Lily was learning to accept it, but I knew he was not her first choice.

Her date with Potter was not the only important day marked on her calendar. In just under a week there was to be another Slug Club meeting. I was dreading it in the extreme, and I just _knew _there was no way to get out of it. Slughorn would never hear of it…If I said I needed to study, he'd give me a note to exempt me. Sickness was not an option. Not only would he see through it, he would be able to come up with a solution in no time as he was the Potion's professor. I had to accept it—I could not avoid Regulus forever, no matter how awkward it would be.

It was unfortunate—I had truly liked Regulus. Yes, at times I'm sure I was using him to set Sirius off…but I really did care for him! Unfortunately, his brother was the more attractive option. Within the last few days I'd spent time reflecting. Regulus was sweet—_too _sweet. I needed fight in a relationship—someone to argue back. Sirius was that person.

On the bright side, there was an underground party being organized for the following day. It was going to be in the Room of Requirement—the prime location for a party of this magnitude. Nearly everyone was invited, except, of course, a select few undesirables.

We had invited Rebecca, but did not expect her to come. When I say 'we', I mean Petra and Levi.

"She said she'd 'consider it'." Petra reported with a small smile. "That translates to, 'no thanks, I have other things I'd much rather be doing."

"Like what? Being a hermit?" Levi snorted and Petra sent him a disapproving glance.

"Well, let's hope she _does _show up." Lily said optimistically. As of late, Petra and Levi were bickering often, and we tried tirelessly to change the subject before it could escalate. They were an example of how friction in a relationship could turn sour. As observers, Lily and I were unable to tell why they were at odds with one another.

Up in the dormitories, there were letters on both of our beds. They were from Slughorn, and he was setting out the parameters for what we were to wear. Apparently there were a few guests attending the dinner who were held in high esteem. Slughorn had perfected the use of syntax—he was coy and the tone of the letter was taunting. He wanted us to be on the edge of our seats waiting to find out who these special guests were that he invited. It was probably someone from the Ministry, or perhaps a famous Quidditch player.

_Great_. I thought. _Just another reason to dread the cursed event. Now I have to be 'on' at every moment. I have to keep my cool. No pressure._


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: A longer chapter at last! Thanks for all the kind reviews on the last one, despite the puny length. This one is (hopefully) more satisfying. I hope you all enjoy! I had fun writing it, especially the latter half. I'm usually a rock and roll girl, but I've been listening to Lady Gaga's new album (Born This Way) nonstop, and one song in particular has been on repeat all night (at **_**least **_**eight times. No lie.). It's called Heavy Metal Lover, and it is just this incredibly catchy, sexy song. Definitely helped me write and visualize the scene. Please review!**

"You look sharp," Remus noted.

"Thanks," I sighed. On any normal day, I'd be happy for this compliment. Today I just didn't care.

"You're not excited to go to the Slug Club dinner?"

"No, of course she isn't." Lily answered for me. She preened into a mirror. "Regulus will be there—she isn't exactly overjoyed about that."

"Ah, I see. It all makes sense now." He nodded and returned to reading his book.

"You _are _very pretty tonight," Lily smiled. "He'll be jealous."

"I wouldn't be so sure. Besides, _I _broke up with _him_!"

"Good point."

"You look great as well. That eyeshadow makes your eyes sparkle."

"Yeah?"

"Whoa! Evans…smokin'!" Potter exclaimed, but before he could wolf-whistle, Lily swatted his hands away from his face.

"Calm down, Potter." She snarled.

"I hope you wear something like that on our _date_." He winked.

Lily rolled her eyes, but a small blush crept over her face and neck.

"It's nearly time, Lils. Should we start walking?"

"Yeah, yeah. I suppose so." She grabbed her purse and took one final glance in the mirror.

"Bye Remus." I waved.

When we were both out of the portrait hole, Lily sighed deeply. It was clear I was not the only one dreading the meeting.

"Let's get this over with."

….

The table was eerily silent. Professor Slughorn was trying to get everyone talking, but it was not working.

I could feel Regulus staring at me; it was uncomfortable, and I was trying desperately not to look up in his direction.

"Ah, here he is!" Slughorn roared and clapped his hands in childlike happiness. "Oh-ho! And here is Savannah. Everyone, this is Jacques Napoleon of the Ministry of Magic's Foreign Affairs department! And the lovely lady is Savannah Westen from the Wimbourne Wasps!"

Everyone turned towards them eagerly, grateful for a distraction.

"Come, come! Sit! We were just starting dessert!"

Everything Slughorn said seemed to have an exclamation mark after it, as if he were incapable of saying a normal statement.

If it were even possible, the situation became even more awkward. Slughorn begged us to ask questions, but all of us felt intimidated. One person obliged, but it was a very simple question that they had been surely asked thousands of times before.

…..

"It is **so **difficult to maintain a relationship when you're a world-famous Quidditch player. And a Seeker no less!" Savannah laughed pompously. She had a hand to her chest, as if her laughter physically caused her pain. We all chuckled nervously in return.

"Speaking of relationships…Did I hear correctly that two of our club members have been dating?" When no one piped up to admit to this juicy piece of gossip (Slughorn clearly looked like he had been itching to pitch the question), Slughorn made a "tutting" noise. "Regulus and Jacquelyn?"

All the blood drained from my face and I felt the room come to a stand still. Lily placed a hand on my arm to calm me, but I felt shocked and hollow.

Regulus cleared his throat and pushed his chair back.

"If you'll excuse me…"

Once he had left the room, all eyes fixed on me. I inhaled sharply.

"Actually, professor, that isn't happening anymore." I murmured.

"Ah…" He sighed. He was now aware of the discomfort he had caused. After a horribly long pause, he addressed one of the guests: "So Jacques, what is this I've been hearing about your department being extraordinarily busy? What piece of information can you provide for someone longing to make a career out of government?"

…

"Ready to party?"

"You know it!" Peter said, which shocked us all. His range of emotions was pretty slim, and usually centered around fear or reverence.

"Is Rebecca coming?"

"Actually, yes!" Lily enthused. "I spoke to Petra and she said she thinks Rebecca's actually excited about it."

"Good. Well, it's starting anytime now. Shall we?" I dabbed on some lip gloss and turned to Lily.

"Yeah, let's go."

Remus and Peter followed close behind. Sirius and James were already at the Room of Requirement, so we didn't need to wait for them.

Perhaps it would have looked odd to see so many students walking about the hallways, but no one was stopped. It was nearly miraculous.

Inside, the music was blaring; it was apparent that the special room had adopted sound-proof walls for the day's events. The decorations were minimal, but effective. It looked great—Potter and Black had outdone themselves.

As I looked around the room in wonder, I felt a warm hand grip my wrist. My eyes snapped to the figure in front of me, but quickly softened.

He smirked.

"Hey Sirius."

"Let's dance." I was unable to protest—not that I would! I had barely had a chance to breathe before I was swept away.

Potter swooped in on Lily not long after, and she (reluctantly) went along with him.

Soon the room was filled. As more and more students arrived, the room expanded.

It was difficult to find people, but Xeno was an easy spot. His robes were electric blue and seemed to glow beneath the candles that were enchanted to imitate strobe lights.

The Honeyduke's secret passageway had been put to good use: there were hundreds of bottles set up on tables, offering both alcoholic and more pure beverages to the attendees. Sirius had been taking donations for at least two weeks, and he had done well.

"Where is Rebecca?" I yelled as Petra approached, sans Levi.

"'Reckon she went to go ask someone to dance. She said there was a particular guy she was interested in. Wouldn't be hint at it." She sounded extremely curious, and even a little miffed that Rebecca never let her know.

"I suppose we'll know soon enough."

"Want a drink?" Sirius asked.

"Sure. Non-alcoholic."

"Sure, sure." He rolled his eyes and walked off.

"So Petra…I notice your plus-one isn't here?" She was looking around anxiously.

"Oh, he's here." Her lips turned into an odd lop-sides expression—she was about to cry, I realized. "He's just not with me."

"Did he…break up with you?" I asked, my mouth hanging open slackly when she nodded. "No way."

"Way," she choked.

"But you guys weren't doing well, right?"

"No, we weren't. It still hurts, though. We were together a while." She shrugged.

"Well, you look great anyways. You shouldn't have any trouble finding someone to dance with." I said encouragingly, and I patted her on the shoulder. "That blue is stunning on you!" Her dark hair and nearly translucent skin stood out in a shocking way against the rich navy. She looked very exotic. Anyone would have been lucky to have her.

"Don't think poorly of Levi." She said softly. "I'm sure in a couple hours I will have already come to terms with it. I've been planning on breaking up for a while. I know arguments can strengthen a relationship, but ours had become so frequent."

As the song came to a close, Sirius showed up next to me.

"Here you go, Jackie. And I got the same for Petra—non-alcoholic butterbeer. "

"Thank you, Sirius." Her cheeks colored from embarrassment. Her eyes had glazed over in tears, but she didn't dare release them.

There was a mad dash to the drinks in between the songs, and a clearing was made.

"Oh look!" I exclaimed. "There's Rebecca! Who is that she's with…?"

"Remus?" Petra squeaked. "_That's _who she wanted to dance with?"

As the next song started up, we were forced into even further awe. The way Rebecca was moving against his body should have been criminal. Their dancing was more suited for the privacy of a dormitory. I felt as though I should avert my gaze, but it was like a train wreck: you just couldn't look away.

"_Mo_-ony…" Sirius said in a tone of respect. I hit him on the arm, but never once took my eyes off the pair. All the times I'd seen her gaze at Remus during Care of Magical Creatures now took on a new meaning. She had a _crush _on him! Although, it seemed more lust-fueled now than anything else.

"I just can't believe that's Becca." Petra said flatly. Her face was blank, but her eyes were wide. "Quiet, unsuspecting _Becca._"

I had never quite seen anything like it on a dance floor. I mean, Sirius and I had danced, yes. But Rebecca's brand of grinding deserved its own censor. They seemed to be secluded from anyone else—they were in their own private world.

"Well, I approve of the pairing…but I can't say I approve of _that_!" I laughed nervously as Rebecca dropped it a little _too _low.

"Excuse me." All three of us were broken from our trance and we whirled around. A very handsome Slytherin boy was standing there, with his eyes fixed on Petra. "RJ was not feeling well tonight, so I am Lauren's guest. She, however, found company in a guy named Jensen and told me to find someone to dance with. I was wondering if you would like to accompany me _ma belle_."

I saw Petra melt as he spoke the two French words. Any sadness she had felt about Levi vanished, and she took his hand immediately.  
"Well that's nice." I smiled and tried my hardest to resist the temptation of glancing at Rebecca and my werewolf friend.

"Why don't we get back on the dance floor before the night is over?"

"Sure, Padfoot, but I won't promise to be as promiscuous as that one," I jabbed my thumb behind me at the Hufflepuff.

"Well maybe I can loosen you up," Sirius whispered into my ear, and I shivered.

"Mmm. C'mon you." I pulled him out onto the floor.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Hello hello! Sorry for the wait in between updates. I've been busy with graduating and work. In other news, it's only a month from LeakyCon! Where did the time go? Anywho, here is the update! Sorry it isn't as long as some others…I quite like this one, to be honest. It's rare I actually say that. I also just updated my new(ish) Neville story, Something To Prove, so check it out if you are interested! Please review, and thanks for being so kind!**

I was glad I had not consumed any of the…"_stronger_" butterbeer, because Rebecca was not in such great shape the following day. Her head was throbbing and her throat "felt like it was on fire" (Lily informed her that this was probably due to her affinity for the Fire Whiskey James had provided). I knew this because Rebecca would not stop moaning about it. It sounded like she was only half awake, or even half alive. She kept muttering incomprehensively about Remus, something like "at least I have him…"

In hushed whispers, Lily and I contemplated what had happened between the two.

"'Has him'?" Lily pondered. "Do you think one dance would have won someone like Remus over so quickly? I mean, Rebecca's not his type…is she?"

"Did you _see _the way she was dancing, Lily? Any guy would have pledged their loyalty and love to her if she did that! She was wild!"

"And she's a Hufflepuff." It was James, and he certainly was looking chipper. He came up behind the chair Lily was curled up on and bent down, his mouth dangerously close to her face. She froze and her eyes showed her annoyance.

"Potter…" Her voice was threatening, but James, being the teenage boy he was, didn't heed the warning. He attacked in the kamikaze fashion—he went in for a peck on the cheek in a swift way, nearly knocking his nose against her cheek bone. "I swear to God Potter, you are so dead!" She shot out of the chair, but he was quicker. He was already perched near Rebecca's softly snoring form. Lily, fortunately for Potter, did not wish to wake Rebecca when it was the first time she had been able to doze since the party. "You're pushing me Potter. I could just as easily cancel our appointment in Hogsmeade…or if you fancy, I might just stand you up!"

"Appointment, Lily?" I smirked. "That's a bit harsh. It's a date. Maybe if you'd ease up on Potter, he wouldn't be so spontaneous and impulsive. Oh, and where's Sirius this fine morning?"

Before James could answer, as he was the person the question was direction to, Lily spoke up.

"I would have thought _you'd _know, Jackie. Seeing as you two share a bed so often."

"**ONE **night, Lily, one night." I shook my head. "And touché. Happy now that you've taken a jab at everyone in this room?"

"Calm down ladies, let's not fight. Let's celebrate that last night was such a smashing success."

I turned my head eagerly to the staircase that led to the boy's dorms. I was not disappointed. Sirius was descending the stairs, his white collared shirt three quarters of the way open. He was leisurely buttoning it up, one tiny, pearly button at a time. I couldn't help but think he was doing it on purpose, to give us a show.

"Morning," James smiled, still satisfied with his sneak attack, and in my opinion, the fire he had ignited in Lily. Everyone saw Lily as the model student—great grades, polite, always prompt, and prepared. James enjoyed pushing her and exposing her more fiery side. This was something I too took relish in. Though, of course, her extreme fatigue did not help her irritability.

"Did Xeno and Marina make it back to their Common Room okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah. They stayed in the Room of Requirement for a while just marveling at how it worked. But they left early this morning…something about trying to find gnomes around the greenhouses. I can't tell if he's a good influence on Marina or not."

"Good." Lily answered immediately, firmly. "Compared to the last guy she was going steady with…Xeno's a saint."

She was still bitter, and I didn't blame her…It didn't feel good to be considered nothing better than the dirt on someone's shoes. It was worse to hear someone say it. She'd heard it straight from a person she'd cared about—while I didn't hear it from Regulus, I might as well have.

"And Petra?"

"Doing fine, and excited to 'explore what Erik has in store.'"

"Erik being the French Slytherin?"

"Naturally." Sirius grinned. "If she had drooled any more last night, people would have been slipping and falling all over the dance floor."

"Well…he _was_ quite a catch." I shrugged.

"You think so?"

"Of course. But not as handsome as you."

"Handsome?"

"Oh, alright then. Not as _incredibly irresistible_ as you."

"Much better," he put his hands on my waist and pulled me against his now fully covered chest. I felt his mouth against my hair, and I smiled contentedly.

"Are you up for a bit of Quidditch today, Padfoot?" James asked, shrugging into a sweater.

"Yeah, how about some drills or something? We've got that Slytherin match coming up in a few weeks…we could do with some training."

"Do you want to join us, _ma belles_?" James posed, doing his best impression of Erik.

I glanced at Lily, and almost missed her slight (**slight**) shake of her head.

"Naw, I think we'll stay here and watch over the drunk," I motioned to Rebecca, all in good humor.

"Well damn." James looked disappointed. "I was sure the French would have worked!"

"Come on, Prongs," Sirius put his hand on James' shoulder. "Next time." There was a confidence in the smirk he wore—like he knew that if he had asked in the same fashion, we would have followed happily.

And you know? Maybe we would have.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: We're nearing the end guys! Hope you enjoy this chapter, and please review!**

Once I had taken a short nap, I was feeling pretty good. The party had been a raging success, and I was happy for the boys.

I'd met up with Portia, Marina, and Lauren at lunch. It was difficult to catch up with them all _and _manage to eat a quick meal, because all of us were in various houses.

I had to cut Portia off, because she was going on and on about how fabulous Erik was. She described his every facial feature exactly, in such detail that it was frightening. He was gorgeous, I had assured her, and she didn't need to convince me.

Marina and Xeno **had **found gnomes, but didn't dilly dally too long by the greenhouses, because both needed to get back to the Common Room to do Ravenclaw things—like studying for a test that was not until the following week.

Lauren was excited about the Portia/Erik development, though she was concerned about Levi. I wasn't, to be frank. He'd get along. Lauren told me a bit about Jensen, and he sounded decent enough.

I barely tasted the food as I shoveled it down. It was off to Care of Magical Creatures for me, something I didn't look forward to, for once. I usually loved the class, owing to the fact that Remus was often my partner for assignments. We made a good team, and he made the class a bit more fun. But now there was another factor in the equation: Rebecca. I loved the girl, but she was taking away _my _Remus!

A little put off, I got up off the bench and began to walk out of the castle. It was a chilly day out, and though I wore a sweater, it did nothing to keep the chill away.

I shouldn't have felt bitter. I should have been happy. But Remus was basically my best guy friend.

As I approached the area where class was normally held, I could see them already: canoodling under a shady tree.

"Hmph." I exhaled. I glanced around, but could see no other worthy partners. I guess I'd be going it alone.

We were just dealing with Flobberworms, which wasn't too, too terrible. It was just excruciatingly boring dealing with them by myself. I shivered and continued prodding the yucky creatures.

I kept sneaking glances at Rebecca and Remus, even though I kept trying to resist. They were not overly affectionate—the dance had certainly been an anomaly in their normal behavior. They were silently flirting with their eyes and the occasional brush of fingers. There was nothing clumsy or awkward about it—it looked natural.

I felt ashamed suddenly. I should be happy for Remus. Surely Rebecca would accept him once she found out the truth. She was open-minded, and loyal—Hufflepuff traits. Who was I to complain that my friend had found someone?

I was relieved when class ended. I had nothing else on schedule for the day, and planned on relaxing in the courtyard with a good book. Sirius had History of Magic next, so there would be no time to see him.

I quickly retrieved a book from my trunk and headed back out into the cool outside. I had picked up an extra sweater to wear, which helped immensely. If anyone was out at the Quidditch pitch, I would have been there in an instant. These nippy days were perfect for spectating. It just felt _right _to be watching a match all bundled up in warm clothes.

The book was something Lauren had suggested—a book of old poetry written by one of her favorite authors. It was a thick book, but I had managed to devour nearly half of it the previous evening. The poems were from all levels of the emotional spectrum. I'd read stories of love, elation, anger, powerful jealousy, and deep, deep sadness. One or two had brought me on the verge of tears.

I felt at peace in the courtyard. It was just me, the bench, and the book. The wind tickled at the little skin that was visible, and my hair blew in long wisps of yellow-white. All the drama of the year felt long behind me.

….

It was late in the evening when I returned to the Common Room. People were dressed in their night clothes, some working diligently on homework, others frittering away the last hour or two before bedtime on Exploding Snaps.

I bypassed them all and went up to the dormitory. I shrugged out of my top sweater, leaving the other on. I was not done for the night—not yet.

"Going somewhere?" Lily asked.

She was acting kinder now—after a quick rest she had perked right up and lost the sass.

"I was going to walk around the castle a bit before bed…I've been reading all afternoon, and I need to stretch my legs."

"This late?" Concern was etched on her brow.

"Yeah. I'll be okay. You're going out anyways, right? You and Remus. Prefect business?"

"Right."

"So even if I do get caught, I'll have two of my best mates to stick up for me." I smiled, hoping she would calm down.

"Sure," she sighed in resignation. "I know you won't get yourself into too much trouble, at any rate."

"See you around the castle, Lils!"

I turned on my heels and went off towards the portrait hole. A couple people had left the Common Room, but for the most part, everyone had remained as they were. Peter was in the corner scrawling something on parchment, likely the Potions essay we had been assigned the previous week. Been there. Done that—and my Charms work.

The halls were mostly empty, except for a few stragglers making their way to Ravenclaw tower. I, on the other hand, had my sight set on the astronomy tower.

It was a great night to view the stars and just _think_.

_What a view…_I thought as I leaned on the railing. The Hogwarts grounds were devoid of any action—completely serene. The dance had really taken a lot out of me, but this was what I really needed. Relaxation.

I tilted my head up to the navy sky. Bright stars speckled the dark blue endless mass. My eyes skimmed over all the tiny lights, but I was always attracted to the bright one of them all. I had paid enough attention in Astronomy to know which one it was. I had a fascination with stars and their names, and knew that particular one to be Sirius. I smirked. Things had really changed.

"Admiring the view?" A voice mocked from the darkness. It almost sounded like Lauren. As I squinted, I could make out Slytherin robes.

"Lauren? Is that you?"

Whoever it was, they scoffed.

"No, I'm not Lauren. I'm no friend of yours." She stepped into the light, and I saw two more figures sidle up beside her. "Recognize me now?"

I did. It was Jennifer. She had been hanging out with Severus' crew lately. She was on her way to becoming a Death Eater, no doubt.

As I predicted, Mulciber and Avery were accompanying her. I was cornered, and I realized that I had foolishly left my wand behind.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid! Never leave your wand! Ugh! _I berated myself.

I tried to sound strong. "What do you guys want? I was just minding my own business. I've done nothing to you."

"Oh. You don't get it do you?" Jennifer laughed coldly. "You've done everything _but _mind your own business."

"I'm not following. If you don't mind, I'm just going to kip back to my dormitory. I'm wasting precious time here when I could be sleeping."

"**You **made the choice to come out here this late, babe. But let me explain—I'll enlighten you."

She stepped closer. I could see her so much clearer now, and the other two as well. I felt a chill go down my spine, but not from the temperature.

"You went out with Regulus Black for quite some time. He may trust you to keep his secrets, even after you split. But we don't." She gestured to the others. "You know too much."

"Too much?"

"Oh, **come on**! Don't play dumb. You're not _that _vapid. You're at least smarter than that Marianna chick that Severus was dating." It seemed as though the mere thought of it brought a bad taste to her mouth.

"It's _Marina_. And she is _not _stupid. A—she's a Ravenclaw. That has to count for something. B—she got tons of OWLs, loads more than you got, I bet. Oh, and C is the best-she was smart enough to get out of the relationship with your dear little slimy git Snapiekins."

"Oh, she's not stupid? Then why is she dating that deranged freak Lovegood?"

"She loves him! They're perfect, just shut up!" I screeched, finally losing my cool.

"Anyways, let's not skirt around the issue at hand." She appeared pleased at my outburst. Like she had succeeded. "You were let inside the circle, and you were even invited to a party highly populated with the purest of bloods…those willing to work for the greater good of wizarding kind. Now that you've severed ties with Regulus in favor of his blood-traitor brother, something needs to be done."

Mulciber and Avery pointed their wands at me. I inched away from the railing, for if I stayed, who knew if I would be knocked off the tower or not.

In unison they shouted something, but I did not hear—all I saw were two blasts of red light. Then black.

….

My head hurt, but slowly I was regaining consciousness. Two freaking stunning spells. Two!

I wondered how long I had been out. I needn't wonder too long.

"Fifteen minutes, Whitaker. We can do worse, too. Maybe the education at this pathetic school is good for something."

I struggled to sit up, but Mulciber kicked me down.

"I don't even know anything!" I whimpered, feeling extremely vulnerable. I hated the way my voice sounded so small and feeble. Jennifer sniggered, and waltzed over. She placed one of her shoes on my chest, the slight heel digging in and only making me more short of breath. "Oooh!"

There were approaching footsteps, but no one could be seen. My eyes searched wildly around, but my view from the floor was not very accommodating.

"Who's there?" Avery demanded, brandishing his wand.

It happened all so instantly. The cloak came off swiftly, stealthily. I couldn't see them, but I recognized their shoes: Remus and Sirius.

"What the hell is going on here?" Sirius demanded when he saw me on the ground, battered and with labored breath.

"And here he is, the blood-traitor himself! Come to save your brother's bitch?" Mulciber taunted.

Sirius forgot all sense, and acted instinctually. He growled throatily and pounced. He slammed Mulciber to the ground and raised a fist. Remus (who had performed Petrificus Totalus on the other two when they had been distracted by Sirius) grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Let me go Moony," he said threateningly.

"Padfoot…Jackie needs to see the nurse. Immediately. I can take care of them, don't worry. Just go."

Sirius looked down at Mulciber again, his eyes ablaze and deadly.

"Go," Remus urged, and bent down to replace Sirius' hold.

Sirius stood and brushed off his pants. When he looked over at me, I felt a stream of tears fall down my face. Who knew where I would be if they hadn't come?

"Sirius," I whispered, feeling all too pathetic for my taste.

"Don't talk, Jackie." He lifted me from the ground carefully. No matter the caution he took, my side still hurt from being kicked and from collapsing from the stunning spell. "I'll explain later."

"Mmm…the map."

"Huh?" He sounded confused for a second, then laughed weakly. "Yeah, the map. Moony was out doing his Prefect duties, and I was tagging along under the cloak, armed with the blessed map. Lucky I felt like an adventure tonight, or else I don't know what would have happened…" A dark look crossed his face, but when he glanced down at me, he softened. "Just rest. I'll make something up for Pomfrey." He bent his head down and pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. I could feel myself drifting off, and though the night was traumatic, I felt safe there in his arms.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: I think next chapter is the end, everyone! This chapter is mostly fluff, but this story IS about the cheese after all. Hope you enjoy, and please review.**

** Oh! Also, I am going to be doing a spin-off of this story based around Xenophilius and Marina. Should be fun! I am currently working on my Neville fic as well. Three chapters of that are already posted, so check it out if you are so inclined!**

My vision was still blurry when I woke, but I felt instantly better when I sensed a hand on mine.

"Morning sunshine."

I felt my heart drop. I knew I shouldn't have been disappointed, but alas, I was.

"Morning Lily," I mumbled.

"Don't even pretend, Jacks. I know you were expecting Sirius." She was smiling. Though I couldn't see her completely (whatever medication Pomfrey had given me had done a number on me!), I just knew. It was in her voice. "He'll be back soon."

"They told you."

"Yes. I told you so."

"Saw that coming a mile away," I groaned. I took much labor to lift myself into a seating position. My back felt very stiff, and I felt bones crack as I sat upright.

"You had a couple broken ribs, and your head was pretty banged up from the stunning spells." Lily noted. "Pomfrey took care of that quickly, but I suspect you'll still feel the effects of the Skelegrow."

"Yeah. It hurts…" It was an odd sensation, feeling the bones grow back and readjust. "I have a funny taste in the back of my throat…what did you do? Force it on me?"

"Basically…you were pretty much knocked out. Remus came to get me as soon as he took care of the Slytherins."

"What of them, anyways?"

"All Remus would say was that Dumbledore was 'taking care of it.'" She rolled her eyes. "We'll see what happens there." She was looking out the window, apparently deep in thought.

"Hey."

She turned back to me, snatched from her mind. "Yeah?"

"Something bothering you?"

"Well, what if Sirius and Remus hadn't gotten to you? What if they hadn't looked at the map, or if Remus and I didn't need to patrol? What would have happened?"

"What if's are pointless at this point, Lily…but I appreciate the concern. If I'm not mistaken, Hogsmeade is this morning?"

Her face was now turning red at a steady pace. She looked down at her hand that was on mine and she sighed.

"Yes. But James and I agreed on it this morning that I ought to stay here. It's off."

"No." I said forcefully. She looked very surprised, because I had been able to barely speak above a whisper.

"No…?"

"Over my dead body you're missing that date!"

"Not funny." Lily said pointedly.

"You're going! Go to your dorm _right now_, find the most attractive outfit you can find, gussy up—not that you need to—and go be your amazing self!"

"It's not like I need to impress Potter…"

"Oh shut up. You're practically in love with him. As much as you hate to admit it, your arguments with him turn you on."

Now she just looked mortified.

"No! That's not it at all—not at all!"

"Just go, Lily. Or I'll just embarrass you further…"

Lily glanced to a Hufflepuff boy in the cot over. She looked paranoid, because though he was sleeping, she feared he still had heard.

Without another word, Lily dashed out of the hospital wing, and I smirked triumphantly. No way was she missing what I had been waiting for all year!

"Okay, Evans?"

I sat up a little straighter. I wondered just how horrible I looked, but didn't even have time to stress it. Sirius was walking into the infirmary, his confident gait a little quicker than normal.

"Hey," I said softly as he took the seat Lily had been sitting in not ten seconds before.

"Hey you. Feeling okay?"

"Meh. But I suppose I'd be doing much worse if not for you and Moony."

He nodded grimly. His dark eyes were still intense and full of anger, but he closed them and breathed in deeply. When he looked at me, he seemed more in control, calmer.

"We were lucky to have spotted you on the map. Look, I guess I've never really told you this flat out…I suppose I thought it was implied…last night, though, it really made me think. It just needs to be said. I've been a jealous moron this year, and I know I probably should have let you deal with my brother without interfering. It just made me so angry! The past couple years here at Hogwarts, I always had an eye on you. You were a spitfire. You were brilliant and witty. Sometimes you were a right challenge to deal with."

"Likewise," I chuckled.

"Right. But I always liked you. I just figured you were…too good for me. You weren't easy to get, you know?"

I couldn't help it—no matter how many ribs I had cracked or how much it hurt, I burst out laughing. "Not easy? What do you call the night of the Quidditch victory party?"

"You know what I mean, Jackie! Can I finish, please? This is hard enough as it is." He sighed. "I didn't feel worthy. But this year, y'know, after we kissed and made up—quite literally—I just felt so much better about myself. I care about you a lot, and I didn't want to lose that. Last night put everything into perspective. I just need to vocalize it—I love you Jackie, I really do. I know my family has put you through a lot of shit, me included. I know. But I won't do that anymore, and I'll keep you as far away from the rest of them as I can. I don't know what's going to happen to those three from last night, but I'll never let them hurt you. Promise."

I felt tears welling in my eyes and I extended my arms towards him. He leaned in and wrapped his own arms around me, squeezing gently.

"I love you too, Sirius. I'm sorry I've been so damn stubborn this whole time."

"All that matters is that we've made it to this point here. Now if only James was able to seal the deal with his lady…"

"Oh," I waved my hand around dismissively. "I'm sure Lily will come around. I can tell she likes him. But that's why Lily and I are friends—we're like peas in a pod. Both super stubborn, smart, and modest to boot." I winked. "I know she and James cancelled for today because of me, but I forced her to go and get ready."

"Forced? But you're in a hospital bed…"

"Well, _goaded_ might be the better word. James ought to know, though."

"Right. Well, I'll go find him, if it's okay with you. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Yeah, of course! I'll be waiting."

"Be back." He quickly leaned in and gave me a sweet peck on the lips. Even as he walked away, the sensation still lingered, and I was left smiling like a fool.

Sirius Black loved me. And I was actually **happy **about it. If the Jackie that had been in his compartment of the Hogwarts Express on September 1st could see me now, she would never believe it.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Last chapter right here folks. Insanity, no? I can't believe it's over. I really, really, really cannot. This has been easily my most "popular" fic, which is so incredibly ironic, as it started as a joke. I hope you've enjoyed it in its cheesy, cliché glory.**

** There are a few people who must be acknowledged as this story winds to an end. First of all, every single reviewer. Trust me when I say your feedback has made my day many times since the inception of this story. Secondly, but not second in any way, is Jackie. The real life inspiration for this ENTIRE story. We've had some good times with this story, I think. You came up with some INCREDIBLE lines, one of which is in here XD Thanks for everything. I'm glad we were able to become friends over the past two years! Also, to Rebecca! Sorry your part wasn't as big, but I thought it was funny, haha! **

** Veronica—your support throughout this whole process has been great. I loved bouncing ideas off of you, and following your progress on your own Sirius fic. If you guys haven't read her stuff, go do it now! Her pen name is bellatrixcrucioyou!**

** I'd also like to acknowledge Natalie (chrisxgirlx). It's been awesome talking to you about Sirius, your story (which is great and y'all should go read it), and writing in general. You've got a fantastic story on your hands, and I know you'll execute the plot brilliantly. Thanks for all the kind words regarding this story.**

**EDIT: Just went back and edited some of this! Yay!**

I felt as though I'd seen everybody the day I was in the hospital wing. In between meals or meetings friends would run in for a quick hello.

Petra, sans Erik, brought me a bouquet of flowers. She was quite proud of them, as she had transfigured a rather unattractive weed from the grounds into gorgeous poppies. I immediately asked her to put them on the bedside table, which made her smile wider than I had ever seen before. Her pride was adorable.

"I've been practicing my Transfiguration," she informed me. "You know it's not my strongest subject…"

"Will Marina be stopping in?" I asked.

"Oh yes. I think she said she had to get something from her dorm. She should be here soon!"

"Where're you off to?"

"Herbology." Petra crinkled her nose. "I need to finish that homework assignment in the greenhouse."

"You have it with the Slytherins I'm guessing?"

"Yep. How did you know?"

"Well, I know _**I **_didn't have it with you. And if Marina is coming to see me, obviously the Ravenclaws didn't either. Process of elimination."

"Right." She sighed and smiled wearily. "Well, I guess I better get going. Hell if I care about missing the assignment, but as Sprout is head of house…"

"Go forth and learn," I urged. "You can come by later if you want."

"Okay! I'll tell Lauren you're doing okay, since she'll probably be taking advantage of the access to the greenhouse as well."

"Thanks for stopping by, and for the poppies. They're lovely."

She gave me one last big, bright smile before leaving the hospital wing.

I enjoyed a couple minutes in silence. I flipped through a book Remus had dropped off for my entertainment, and occasionally glanced at the flowers. They were a bright orange, a color I loved.

"Knock knock?"

I put the book aside immediately at the sound of her voice. It was Marina, and trailing her was Xenophilius—the space in between them connected by their hands.

"Good morning, Jacquelyn." Xeno greeted and did an odd half-bow gesture.

"Morning Xeno. Thanks for visiting you two. It means a lot."

"Of course! I brought you this." Marina placed a box on my lap; it even had a pretty ice blue ribbon on top.

"You didn't have to do a thing, Rina."

"I wanted to." She placed my hands on top of the box. "Open it!"

I untied the ribbon and set it aside carefully; it would look really nice in my hair. Somehow I figured Marina had already thought of that.

Inside, nestled in a bed of tissue paper, was a very fine bracelet. It was made of a very, very thin metal, and wrapped around the metal was what appeared to be a strong piece of grass. It was by no means a pretty piece of jewelry, but it was certainly intriguing.

"It's brilliant, Rina, but what is the grass?"

She looked eager to explain, and sat down in the chair next to the bed. "It's supposed to have healing properties! And the metal is supposed to be composed of a mood-enhancing mineral. I've collected little bits and bobs to make into jewelry, and I thought you might like this—seeing as you're not exactly in your prime state."

"That was very thoughtful." I put it on my wrist, which seemed to thrill her. "Do you two have any engagements this afternoon?"

"Ancient Ruins study group, but not for another hour." Xeno answered.

"Mind if we stay and talk with you? We figured it would be lonely, as James and Lily went to Hogsmeade and Sirius had to go speak with Dumbledore."

"I'd like that a lot, actually. It's been pretty boring here."

…

"Care to help?" I asked Sirius, who was adjusting his suit coat jacket.

"Of course." He came over and zipped the dress up, and when he finished, he placed a kiss on my neck, sending butterflies loose in my stomache. "Funny isn't it?"

"The wedding?" I questioned, turning around to face him. He looked absolutely stunning in his formal wear. He had even trimmed his hair a bit for the occasion, though he didn't have to to look drop-dead gorgeous.

"Yeah. To think, not two years ago they were at each other's throat about everything…"

"Correction," I smirked and held up my index finger. "_Lily _was at _his_ throat about everything."

"True enough."

"It's great though. This whole ordeal is like one big 'I told you so' from me to her. It's brilliant!"

"You're so evil," he grinned and embraced me.

"You looove it," I sing-songed.

"You're right, I do. This puts everything into a new perspective, doesn't it? We've come a long way—all of us. Yeah, two years ago they would have never been able to fathom that this would happen one day…but look at **us**."

I nodded, remembering all too clearly the time he had shouted at me for dating his brother and all the other various times we had butt heads. As each memory resurfaced, a small smirk crept onto my lips.

"You know what they say, Sirius. I guess it all started with your brother. 'Once you go Black…'"

He rolled his eyes, but there was no denying the look in his eyes. He was fighting hard not to laugh.

"Try as you will, you know that was damn clever!" I threw a hand towel at him in jest. "You all set? I expect they'll be needing us any time now."

"Yes, let's go. Big event to attend. Can't have the best mate and bride's maid absent."

As we made our way to our positions, I spotted Peter and Remus, Marina, Xeno, and even Portia. It was just the way it should have been: the perfect reluctant couple having the perfect wedding. And I was glad I got a good view of the whole thing, because I'd been looking forward to this for _years_. When the traditional 'wedding music' began to play, I glanced over at Sirius (who was standing at James' side). He winked at me, and I felt a blush on my cheeks. After all this time, he still made me feel giddy and just…_happy_. I didn't know what our future held, but at that moment, I felt entirely content.

**A/N: For the last time for Surrender, please review! I wanted to end this on a happy note, to give them a happy ending. We all know what happens in the future…but let's allow them to be blissfully ignorant for now!**

**Also, I am currently working on my Neville fic "Something To Prove." Check that out if you want to…but I am beginning ANOTHER story. It's a Xenophilius fic, with a rather familiar character if you enjoyed Surrender! It'll be a Xeno/Marina story. The first chapter IS UP! .net/s/7131657/1/Somewhere_Only_We_Know -Link!**

** Again, thanks for ALL of your support—whether it was a favorite, any kind of alert, or a review. It means a lot to me.**


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